Friday, June 11, 2010

RFDS - Part 2

Recognizing my own cleanness has been my wrestling mat for far too long. I’ve wrestled hard with sin issues – for me, self-forgiveness is apparently the last and hardest step to freedom from the weight of my past.

I’ve written many short stories. They’re fictional, but filled with truths. Ironically, they’re filled with truths for me; piece after piece meant straight for my heart – to help free me. I’ve written stories about our innocence and about ‘letting go’ over and over again. How is it so easy for me to ignore what God not only tells me, but has me put down in print for everyone to see? Pride says, ‘no, this isn’t about you…….’ (I need to deal with pride, too.)

If I’ve submitted myself to God, cried out for mercy and forgiveness for my sins (which I have) – and yet don’t believe I’m forgiven, I’m calling God a liar. He’s clearly said in 1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse of us all unrighteousness. (KJV) If I say I’m forgiven, but allow guilt to swallow up my mind, I’m not believing what I’m saying about myself – again, calling God a liar. Either I’m forgiven or I’m not. God forgives me. The people I’ve hurt forgive me; yet I don’t forgive myself. Why? Don’t I deserve forgiveness? Do other people deserve it more than I do? Are there people who deserve it less than I do? It really doesn’t matter. God said He’d forgive us, so if I believe Him, whether I think I deserve it or not, I’m forgiven. To not walk in that forgiveness makes the sacrifice that Jesus made so that I could be forgiven, all in vain. We’ve all seen The Passion of the Christ – Mel Gibson’s horribly fantastic movie. As grotesque as the movie is, it can only give us a glimpse of what Jesus went through – just so He could forgive our sin. Did my Savior go through all of that in vain?


In part 3 I will tell you a dream I had a few weeks ago – and its interpretation. It was like getting smacked upside the head with an overwhelming ‘aha’ moment. Until then, take a look into your own heart and see if you’re walking in forgiveness – or if you’re a saint walking around in sinner’s rags.

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