Religious Autism, by Will Lamkin

        Today's blog post is by my friend and guest writer, Will Lampkin!

Will Lamkin

How often do you find yourself asking the question, "What's their problem?" Maybe it's been a while, or maybe it's now while I'm presenting this. "What's his problem now?" Right? Well, for me, I've been asking that question fairly often recently. It's especially been when having encountered some of the "spiritual" folk at various Church and Para-church meetings. Having pondered at length (at least in my own mind) the potential causes of these peoples "problem," I've come up with what I think could at least be a partial reason for why they are as they are. Now, I don't know of any empirical, scientific studies that would directly support my conclusion, but having done an extensive 10-minute Internet research I've come up with something that sounds good, at least to me. Although I'm sure that the people that sparked my thinking about the subject would disagree with my conclusion, I'm going to call the problem condition religious autism.

Initially, I thought I would call it spiritual autism, but I can't see where it would be a spiritual condition, at least not for born again Christians. After all, it's in the spirit of the Christian, that Holy Spirit takes up residence, so I can't see that it would be there. It wouldn't be physical, medical grade autism either, at least not obviously so, for the people subject to this discussion, so the only thing left is the soulish realm. As such, I believe that I have discovered an affliction of the mind, the will, and the emotions that occurs in the "religious" world, i.e. religious autism. Because, if you think about it, the soulish realm is where religion actually dwells.

Now, medically speaking, autism is defined as a condition characterized by impairment in social communication and interaction, as well as a need or strong preference for predictability and routine, sensory processing differences, focused interests, or repetitive behaviors. There will be unusual mood or emotional reactions and a person with autism must follow certain routines. They will get upset by minor changes. They are also likely to display obsessive interests.

As stated above, I am not addressing medical autism as such, but having a close relative sitting on the autistic spectrum, I know all of the things listed to be true and recently considered that there is strong evidence of similar characteristics in the common religious environment. This might help to explain why even a minor change in the order of a church service or operation, or a deviation from what one person identifies as proper Christian truth causes so much trouble. You see, for an individual on the autistic spectrum, there are really no minor issues. That's quite possibly why one's view on the end times, even though it won't keep someone from coming to Jesus and getting saved, can get one readily labeled as a heretic. There are no small issues!

From a medical standpoint, there is no cure for autism spectrum disorder, but I think that there is some hope for those suffering with religious autism. At least for those willing to recognize the condition and to deal with it. The thing is that it won't be a passive effort. While God dealt with us spiritually in the new birth and made us new creatures, He left it up to us to deal with our souls (i.e. mentality and mindset) and bodies (i.e. the flesh). We are directed in Romans 12:2 "Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God." And in Ephesians 4:22-24 we are told "that you put away, as concerning your former way of life, the old man, that grows corrupt after the lusts of deceit; (23) and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, (24) and put on the new man, who in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth."

The Word of God is key here. Hebrews 4:12 says "For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Note that in this scripture there is a clear distinction between soul and spirit and thoughts and intentions of the heart. This is an important concept.

Many believe that as long as they have the right words formed in their heads that they are ok, not realizing that they are still suffering from religious autism. Some that I encountered recently had the right words together, but the wrong mood or emotional state and failed to see the real sense or significance of the momentary circumstances. 

One individual upbraided me for wearing a hat whilst praying for someone because, "men don't wear hats when praying." I was wearing it to shield my eyes from some very bright lights and didn't even think of taking it off at the time. That may not have been the best reason for violating a major issue, and, of course, it definitely turned out not to be an acceptable explanation at the time.

Now, did I take offense to this? Yep, I did. Largely because of the abrasiveness of the situation and the fact that the individual felt that they could lay their hand on my shoulder and stop me in order to rebuke me. For someone with my natural feelings and background such an action is an insult, especially when accompanied by a condescending tone of voice. In the old neighborhood the knives could have come out.

But, in a situation like that I have to remember to look at myself and my reactions first and remember what Jesus told me in Luke 6:41, "Why do you see the speck of chaff that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye?" I could have spent a lot of time finding plenty of fault with that other person, and yes, I wanted to, and the devil wanted me to as well, but, I realized that it was essential for me to be willing to extend as much grace and understanding to an outside individual as I do for my close relative with medical autism. Namely, one with apparent religious autism.

I will certainly treat my blood relative with a good deal of kindness, so I must also be willing to do so, as much as is doable, with those whom I consider might be on the religious autistic spectrum (RAS). It's not necessarily easy, but it is essential in promoting the Kingdom of God, which has a much higher priority than my personal feelings. I must continue to realize that for many there are no minor issues and that they can't presently act any differently than they do. I've noticed that they can and will easily identify problems, whether real or imaginary, but aren't so capable in identifying solutions. It's the condition they are currently fixed in, and me getting aggravated about it just won't fix it. It could also be that the devil is stirring things up, and I'm confident that he is very adept in manipulating religious autism, but that deserves a whole separate discussion in itself.

So, I must realize first of all that until I have made acceptable progress in transformation by the Word of God and learned better how to hear and respond to the voice of the Holy Spirit, there's not much I'll be able to do about anyone on the RAS except maybe pray for them. I will also have to fight, without a break, the urge to take their actions personally. 

Also, God probably doesn't need my help in fixing them, unless of course, for some reason, He provides a specific unction from the Holy Spirit. But that's probably not as common as many might think. I also must be careful to not respond out of any religious autism that I might be afflicted with, that certainly would prove to be unprofitable.

After going through this I have had to think a bit about our Chihuahua. He feels an absolute obligation to attack anyone coming near my wife when she's holding him. Even me, who feeds him. Why does he do this? because he's a Chihuahua. So, knowing this, I still feed him. Thinking more about it, I guess that I will just have to remember to take my hat off next time I'm praying for someone and also hope that I won't be wearing the wrong shoes for the occasion.

"Mencha"

 Tony scrambled from bed to dress for the day. 

 

Today they were going to the library to read. 

 

When he climbed up into his favorite chair, his mom asked him, "Dry cereal? Or with milk?"

He pointed to the milk and said, "Milk, milk, smo-o-o-oth as silk."

His mother chuckled and poured the milk into his cereal bowl. 

 

After breakfast, while Mom was putting away the clean towels, Tony hurried into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He admired them in the mirror and ran his fingers across them, whispering loud enough for Mom to hear, "Smooth as silk."

 

With their morning chores finished, Mommy and Tony headed to the library. 

 

After looking at almost every book on the shelf, his mother asked him, "Well Tony, which one will you choose?"

He smiled at a big one with a cover the color of a brand-new penny. 

He pointed up at it and said, "That one, Mommy. It's shiny as can!"

Mom laughed quietly and shook her head. "Silly boy," she said as she grabbed the book. 

Climbing up onto her lap to hear her read the story, her wedding ring caught his eye. He pulled her hand close, as if to inspect it and sighed, saying, "Shiny as can be."

He smiled up at her pretty face. "It's shiny as can be, Mom!"

Puzzled but amused, Mom began to read to him. She shared enthusiasm and excitement as the story unfolded. 

 

After another story, Tony asked if they could play on the playground outside before heading home. 

Mom nodded and they made their way through the big glass doors that led to the playground. 

Tony ran his fingers across the clean glass and declared, "Smooth as silk!"

Mom laughed out loud this time. 

 

Tony ran to the slide and climbed to the top calling to his mom, "Watch me, Mom." As he slid down faster than ever before, he yelled, "Smooooooth as silk!"

Before landing at the bottom, he shielded his eyes from the sun and giggled as he tumbled off the end of the slide. 

"Mom! Look at that sunshine! It's shiny as can be!" He squealed with delight. 

 

Chasing him to the swings, his mom asked, "Tony, why do you keep saying that?"

"Saying what?" he asked. 

"This is shiny as can be and that's as smooth as silk. Where did you even learn that?"

 

"Oh," he said, "that's what Grandpa said to Grandma when he was brushing her hair yesterday. She smiled so big and was so happy 'bout it, I figured it must be fun to hear."

His mom smiled and nodded her head. 

"Okay, that makes sense. I guess," she responded. 

Tony looked up at her with happy eyes and he said, "Grandma smiled like she used to, like before she got the mencha. Remember, Mom?"

 

She got a few shiny tears in her eyes and scooped him up into her arms and hugged him tight. 

"Oh yes, I remember, Tony."

After twirling him around, she put him down and said it again. "Yes. I remember."

 

Tony ran off to the swings calling back to her, "Don't cry, Mom. It's a good thing. And - I'm going to beat you to the swings."

He laughed all the way to the swings and yelled, "Come push me, Mom!"

Mom wiped the wet tears from her eyes and hurried over to push him. 

 

"Mom?"

She waited for him to finish, "Did you know your tears are shiny as can be?"

Then he screamed with excitement as she pushed him high up into the sky. 

 

Children notice. God made them that way.

They see more than they can understand and sometimes they share the good stuff!

 

 

Helpful articles about how to talk with your child about Alzheimer’s and dementia:

 Link here.

 Link two.

 Link three.

 Link four.

 ‘For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.’- Psalm 116:8

 

 ‘They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.’ – Psalm 126:5

 

 ‘He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it.’ - Isaiah 25:8

 

 ‘For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.’                        – Revelation 7:17

 

 ‘And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.’ – Revelation 21:4

 

 

Holding on Tightly

Sometimes we hold things so closely that we don’t see them change over time. Maybe it’s a painful childhood or a bitter divorce or angry words spoken at some distant place in the past. Maybe it’s how wonderful Christmas was as a child, despite the fact that you grew up pitifully poor. Or maybe even something as simple as how much greener the grass was or how much bluer the sky was when we were younger.

Holding on to something so tightly and holding them so close to your heart can hide the corners or the details of the memories of the event.

That’s how it is when we’re carrying a burden we need to forgive so we can let go of it. Even when the burden is something you need to forgive yourself for – as time passes, the burden gets heavier and becomes more destructive.

Today, are you able to take that bundle that you’re holding onto with a death grip and pull it away from our heart long enough to take a look at it? How clearly could you even see it, if you did?

Often, a mother will snuggle her newborn so closely – she’s used to that child being inside of her; now she holds them in her arms. What felt like a part of her for 40 weeks is now a more independent little person she can snuggle and love in a very different way. Eventually she pulls them up in front of her to admire and take delight in.

With treasures and burdens that we carry around like that, we don’t always make the time to pull them away from our heart long enough to look at them, whether to admire or to curse them.

We just carry them, never allowing them to evolve or change though feeling the weight grow heavier over time. Imagine the damage to both that mother and her child, if 10 years later she insisted on carrying them everywhere, all the time.

Today, if we sit down with God in prayer and ask Him to help us take a look at our burdens, we can discover great and wonderful things, and we may have to take a look at hard, painful things.

But knowing we’re not alone for that big reveal, and every time we dare to peek, will bring healing to us and lighten the burden. We may have to look at it little by little, or we may be able to take it in all at once. We’re all different, and every bundle we carry is different.

We may see that it’s uglier than we remember, or that it’s not nearly as scary as we remember. We may see that a beautiful memory is hiding something behind it that we’d rather not see, so we cling to that good thought – but it still becomes a burden; a hiding place.

My whole point today is to tell you that you don’t have to do it alone.

God is ALWAYS with you. He has ALWAYS been with you. He’ll walk through this with you. He’ll lighten the burden, He’ll heal the wounds, and He’ll bring His joy into your heart…if you let Him.

He will bring the right people at the right time to sit with you and pray with you and cry with you and laugh with you. And as crazy as it may sound to some, that person might not even be a Christian. God can and will use any of us.

And He’ll always forgive first. He won’t ask you to do what He won’t do.

Our first step is inviting Him into the situation. He’ll take the next step.

Pride may come before a fall, but humility comes before healing.

 

Legally Speaking....

 

“Satan is very legalistic. Once you believe that Jesus is your Savior, Satan legally has ZERO authority over our lives, but if he can gain one little inch (through sin, curses, witchcraft, or unforgiveness) he will use that to his advantage every single time.” – Amy Wadlington, “Into the Deep”

Our enemy is legalistic because he must be, he’s bound by spiritual laws. He cannot cross the bloodline of Jesus Christ. Where have we let down our guard and how do we force him back once he’s found an inroad; a crack in our shield of faith? Where have we come into agreement with him without even realizing it?

I recently discovered that I had given something over to the enemy decades ago and have been living with a chain around me, holding me back from freedom God has for me. I’m praying for God to reveal any more chains disguised as mere words I haven’t considered harmful.

“I just meant……” Satan doesn’t care what you meant by your words. You spewed them out and he’ll run with them as far and as fast as he can. God teaches us how powerful our words are. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” – Proverbs 18:21a

In Amy Wadlington’s book “Into the Deep” she points out several (of many) things we might have said that Satan snatched up and ran with, compromising the abundant life God promised us here and in Heaven. I’ll suggest:

·      “No one could love me…”

·      “I’ll never get a good job…”

·      “Obesity runs in my family…”

·      “I’ll never live in a nice house…”

·      “I don’t deserve good things in my life…”

I could give you a long list of my own. If you hang out with me much, you might catch me criticizing and condemning myself in ridiculous ways, concluding that I may have a poor self-image. What lies have I locked myself into?

You may ask yourself the same question. The good news is that God will reveal them to us if we ask Him to, and He’ll walk with us through breaking them off and forcing them out of our lives. I’d love to quote this whole chapter from Amy’s book here, but I’d rather you buy the book and grow through every single chapter she shares with us. I can’t tell you how powerful it’s been in my life.

You may already recognize your own voice in your head, remembering negative things you’ve said about yourself or things others have said to you that you believed. They need to be dealt with. Satan doesn’t get to hold the upper hand. God has given us the keys to His kingdom and shares His glory with us. We are joint heirs with Jesus! Hallelujah!

Take a few minutes to ask God what you’ve said that lines up with what Satan wants you think – versus what God Himself wants you to know, His Truth – about you and about Him and everything else.

He’ll speak to your heart; He’ll reveal everything you need to know.

And as we heard in our childhood, “knowing is half the battle!”

As you pray, break off the chains those words created, let God (and the enemy) hear you declare out loud that you no longer agree with them. Let God show you a scripture that speaks His truth to the situation, agree with HIM and declare that!

Living in God’s freedom isn’t rocket science. But you need to be in His Word regularly to learn about your authority in the spirit realm.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” – Hosea 4:6a

Seriously – life is an open book test. There’s no need to flounder or fail.

 

One-sided Conversations

 

One-sided conversations: we don’t usually find them pleasant unless we’re the ones doing all the talking. And for you non-talkers, they must be agony to endure.

While I’m confident God loves it when we come to Him chattering with excitement, or when we come to Him asking for help with a problem, I think He’s equally if not more excited when He sees us listening for His voice.

So, this post may be mostly for all the people out there that are members of the Chatty Club; those of us who talk more than we listen. I prefer to call myself loquacious instead of verbose, it just sounds sexier and more flattering. We’re a pretty big club. You’ve probably run into more of us than you thought you would.

We sometimes interrupt what you’re saying to get in our two cents. We sometimes let our minds wander while you’re talking so we’re prepared with something when it’s our turn, if you have a chance to interject at all. Yes, we can be incredibly rude. For that, I apologize in the pithiest way possible: Sorry.

We don’t mean to do it. We wish we could stop ourselves, and sometimes we can – till we hear our own voice again and realize, “Oops – no, I didn’t shut up yet”.

We need to quiet our mind long enough to adopt some method of listening.

Some suggestions include writing out all that’s on our mind first thing in the morning; a “morning dump” if you will.

Perhaps we could wait until evening for important conversations, because, surely by then we’ll be all talked out. (Ha! Can that even happen?)

Snap that rubberband on our wrist every time we hear our own voice?

Ah, we need a sidekick who can motion to us to shut-up when we’ve droned on for too long! Or someone who will pull us aside repeatedly to remind us that yes, we’re talking too much again.

Whether we like it or not, we chase away friendships (or potential friendships) because people will turn and walk the other way when they see us coming.

We can lose out on a lot of valuable information when we’re the one doing all the talking. Believe it or not, the other people in the conversation have valuable input, too! Maybe even more worthy of being spoken than what we’re spouting off about.

Listening. It’s not a hard concept. Some of us just seem genetically predisposed to find it difficult to process into something we routinely do.

I’m no psychologist, but I’d venture to guess that our constant chatter is attempting to fill some need in our lives.

Maybe as a child we were told that ‘children should be seen and not heard’, so now we’re making up for lost time.

All of that rambling to say ---- we need to practice listening. To become good at anything, it usually requires practice. This is no different. Even when talking with our heavenly Father.

Practice listening. God can work with a good listener.

The following verses bring up anger, too. We’ll get to that at another time.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak [and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires].” – James 1:19-20 NIV

Or – check out the wordier, more poetic version in the Message Bible: “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, [and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger].”  – James 1:19-20 MSG

Untied Relationships

 

If I was the enemy of mankind, what might be one strategy I would use against them to bring about their defeat?

Satan uses many tactics against us, like fear and intimidation, lies about God, lies about us, our worth.…

But let’s face it, if he could take us out, he would have already.

Then this thought crossed my mind.

“I’d untie their relationships!”

When one enters a relationship with an abusive, controlling significant other, one thing they’ll do is try to cut off the other relationships in your life. They don’t want you to have someone else to turn to.

Though we don’t consider ourselves to be in a relationship with Satan, he’s constantly trying to forge his way into one with us. Those especially susceptible are those who don’t believe he’s real.

He must laugh at the way we think we’re the ones in control.

He’s been around longer than we have. He’s seen you grow up, he knows your likes and dislikes, your fears and insecurities, your areas of special pride. In short, he knows how to tempt and influence you and what snares to put in your path.

Look at all the broken relationships around you. There’s brokenness between parents and their children or grandchildren, between husbands and wives, between childhood friends, between business associates who could’ve done great things together.

When walking and holding hands with a small child who cannot yet appreciate the dangers of this world, we can guide them around the potholes of life, tugging them gently (or wildly if necessary) away from the shifting ground.

But Satan doesn’t want that child to hold your hand. He doesn’t want them to be safely guided by someone who knows the ropes.

He doesn’t want you to hold on to your heavenly Father’s hand, either.

He wants you to fall into the pitfalls and traps he’s set for you.

He wants you to listen to his lies and to hear his voice above the others in your life.

He wants to sabotage and untie the relationships in your life.

You may think you self-sabotage; but who planted the lies in front of you to affect your thinking and influence your choices?

I’m not saying we should blame the enemy for all the failures in our lives. At some point, we need to take responsibility for our decisions and suffer the consequences.

But there are reasons we chose the choices we’ve made; not excuses, but reasons.

Satan loves to dip his finger into every pot of soup we make. And his fingers are DIRTY! He’s coated them with the poison of his lies.

God created us. He created us to need Him – and to need each other.

Satan seeks to untie your good relationships, especially your relationship with God.

Once the knot is untied, where does that leave you? What does it leave you thinking and believing about yourself and others? Does it make you trust yourself and others less? Does it make you trust God less? Might it even make you angry with God?

That’s his goal.

If Satan leaves your relationships alone, perhaps they’re unhealthy relationships that he can use to your destruction.

Jesus Himself said, Satan, our common enemy, comes to steal, kill and destroy. While He [Jesus] comes that you may have life and live it to the fullest! (John 10:10)

What good relationships in your life have been unraveled?

Even if you think they can’t be restored, God’s thoughts are greater than ours. (Isaiah 55:9)

Align yourself with God’s ways of thinking, with His written Word.

It’s time to forge new, strong, healthy relationships with the people we love – and new people God is bringing into our lives. This might require a lot of forgiveness toward others, and even toward ourselves. We’ll ponder forgiveness another day…

 

Truth Seeking

 

Has it occurred to you that some of the things you believe are simply not true?

It’s easy to listen to others and pick out where they’re wrong. (I’m not talking about opinions.)

Look at a moral topic where you’re hearing opposing views, one (or more) can clearly be wrong.

I’m writing today to ask you to CONSIDER that there are things you believe today that are not true.

We have an enemy, and yes – he lies to us. We believe those lies because we don’t recognize them. As a matter of fact, Jesus calls Satan the father of lies! (John 8:44 NIV)

I know I’ve touched on this topic before, but God is tugging at my heart to write about it again.

It might be something easily dismissed because we think we know better; pride might tell us we would never fall for a lie.

But we all do!

Satan is very convincing. It’s his self-appointed job to tear us down, to plant seeds of doubt in our mind, and to convince us that God is not good. He revels in telling us that we aren’t lovable and watches our eyes fall when we believe it’s true. Then he piles on more self-debasing thoughts.

He’s subtle and sneaks in “little lies” that don’t seem to matter. But they begin to pile up in our mind and before you know it, we’re believing some seriously big lies.

The Bible tells us, “The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; [but Jesus says] I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” – John 10:10 NIV

We’re warned!

But most of us don’t understand just how sneaky and treacherous he is. He hates you simply because God loves you. And that’s the biggest truth he tries to hide from you - that God truly DOES love you. Satan cannot stand it that God loves you and he fights to keep you from believing it.

He doesn’t want us to believe that God is good. We can come up with too many evil things in the world – and Satan wants us to attribute them to God, not him.

God. Is. Good.

How can we recognize these lies?

The ONLY way is to talk with our heavenly Father and ask Him to show us the lies we’re believing.

He wants to show us. He won’t show you everything at once, that would overwhelm us.

He’ll reveal them to us as He walks us through them, showing us in His Word, HIS truth, the absolute truth. Jesus said, “I AM the Truth.” (John 14:6 NIV)

Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to this world (don’t believe the lies of this world), but to renew our minds. Our minds NEED renewing!

When we become His child, we turn from the lies of this world and wash our minds with the Word of God.

NOTE: We won’t recognize lies if we don’t know the truth.