I miss my dad. He would have celebrated his 80th birthday today if he hadn’t already left this world for heaven. I wonder what he’s doing there. I wonder if he can see me. I wonder if he’s already seen the future revealed…
With my feet still planted here on Earth, I watch as my father-in-law takes strides, some great and some ugly, to live the way he wants to; the way he’s used to. The great things include his body healing. The ugly things include his violent demands to get his own way. I suppose we all want our own way in most circumstances. Some of us are demanders and others of us are submitters.
I’ll admit there are times it makes me feel incredibly selfish to want my own way. I can justify both sides of pretty much any argument (something which has frustrated my husband for years now). But for example:
It’s Christ-like to be selfless and give everything I am to others ~ VS ~ I have other people who depend on me, too, and giving all my energy and time to one person knowing others need me is too draining.
God will supply all my needs ~ VS ~ I don’t always want to be Wonder Woman and handle it all.
I can honor the present while God deals with the past in His own ways ~ VS ~ Sometimes I just don’t want to!
I’m being loving ~ VS ~ I’m being manipulated and used
The bottom line is seeking and accepting what God wants of me and submitting to Him, not to the confines of what man demands I think, say or do.
This is where I’ll actually find peace.
'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' –Philippians 4:4-7 (NIV)