You and Me

(photo from animetym.net)

Today’s blog post is probably more for me. I love you and I’m here to help in so many ways, but…..

I’m not here to do it for you.

What a liberating thought!

I’m not here to learn it for you. I’m not here to rescue you. I’m not here to “do life” for you; to save you from the hard stuff or clean up your messes.

I am here to go through life with you. I’m here to learn with you, to wrestle with you, to laugh with you – to travel this journey with you!

(picture from hollywoodreporter.com)

If you recall, months ago I mentioned reading a book called Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. (Find it here. Or at your local second hand store.)

The book was great. Not always easy, but great. Now, the ripples it’s making in my life are very energizing and empowering. Just to rehash, one of the main benefits to having boundaries is knowing where I end and you begin; seeing that circle drawn around us, and recognizing that I’m not responsible for your actions, or even for your re-actions to life as it unfolds around you. I’m responsible for me.

Sounds a little selfish at first.

I’m here for you; I’m here to support you or to help you, perhaps even to instruct you in some manner. I can be here to hold you and help you pick up the pieces. But, you’re responsible for your circle of life; for what you do and how you respond to what you encounter.

Liberating? Yes! I am not responsible for saving the world! Yay! It intrigues me that so many people already knew this; and that so many more don’t.

(photo from talon.tfc.edu)

Does that mean I can just withdraw into a hole and hide from everything?

Absolutely not.

I’m still a vibrant part of everything that goes on around me, including what goes on in your circle.

But, I’m not here to fix you. I’m not even here to point out what’s wrong in your life!

I am here to love you.

(picture from pixabay.com)

I am here to stand with you and encourage you and walk beside you.

I am here to pray for you, to intercede from time to time, to share what I’m learning and to share in what you’re learning.

I’m often tempted to intervene for my friends and “do it for them”….. I’m sorry. That’s denying you the privilege to do it yourself and gain all that comes from that accomplishment, that step forward…. I never want to hold you back, but, I’ll always lend a helping hand – as God directs!

(meme from bootstrapper.com)

Jesus is our help, our salvation; always. No one else can dictate how He’ll help or rescue us, no one else can determine who He will or won’t use in our lives, what methods He’ll contrive to reach us and to deliver us; God alone is the Master of His Plan.

There are scriptures which appear to contradict each other. Two such scriptures are these, found in the book of Galatians:

“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

“For every man shall bear his own burden.” (Galatians 6:5)

Studying these verses, we’ll find that verse two refers to burdens that would crush us, while verse five refers to burdens that we may squirm beneath, but that are ours alone to carry. Sometimes we think those burdens are too heavy to shoulder alone. But, think about it – the stories and movies we love the best, involve someone overcoming something they thought would destroy them. We’re so much stronger than we know; there’s so much more to who we are than we dare imagine. And God never really leaves us alone, He’s always with us – always enabling and empowering us, always helping us.

(meme from godsgracefulness.com)

If we leave the room and miss a part of one of those great “over-comer” movies, where the hero rises up to accomplish the impossible, we’ll ask, “How did they do that?” and are often compelled to watch the movie again.

(meme from memegenerator.com)

Whether the burden will crush us or define us, God is our help. Yes, He uses those around us, but He alone is the source of our strength.

Psalm 54:4 – “Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.” (NIV)

Hiding

(photo from viktorpersson.com)

Is it fair to respond, “I don’t know…” when someone asks how you’re feeling; or to just shrug your shoulders and look away?

I suppose it depends on the why we think they asked. But, by presuming to know the motives behind their asking, we put ourselves into their mind, where we don’t belong, because, truthfully, we don’t know what really goes on there.

We believe we can safely surmise what someone’s thinking or what their intentions are, sometimes based on their past subsequent responses to us.  If, in the past, they seemed not to truly care, we conclude that this time is no different. But, what if in the past they did truly care, but didn’t quite know how to communicate their concern to us? What if their “care button” isn’t broken, but their “communication button” works differently than ours?

There are many reasons we turn from the attention of others. Perhaps we don’t think they actually care, or their personality overwhelms us. Maybe we don’t have the time or interest to reciprocate that care. Sometimes we may just feel like our concerns don’t deserve a spotlight or we’d rather keep them to ourselves, insisting that no one could help us anyway. It could be pride or it could be privacy.

(photo from nickelvery.com)

It could be that we honestly don’t even know in our own heart why we run from the love or attention others offer us.

Personally, the way thoughts often jumble together in my own mind sometimes causes me to panic, not finding the “correct” response fast enough, forcing me to emotionally shut down to keep from exhibiting an emotional response that others might not find acceptable. Of course, rightly or wrongly, I probably base what is “correct” or “acceptable” on past responses or my own imagination.

I guess I’m writing this post to probe: Why do YOU run? Am I alone in my feelings? Am I basing my actions and reactions on deceit?

Logically, if forcing things down inside myself hasn’t worked to “fix” things in the past, why would I (or we) think that this time that’s the fix we should reach for?

Yet, if reaching out for help in the past hasn’t yielded the results we hoped for, why would we continue to reach out?

(photo from thesaleslion.com)

I believe that God created us with a need for each other; a need to connect with each other, as a means of meeting our other human needs. If this is true, then it makes sense that the enemy of Life would want to sever our relationships wherever possible. No? Satan’s most effective tools against us include deception; false illusions, and cleverly created evidence to back up those deceptions. As people, we can be very vulnerable, perhaps to the point where we run from the very help we seek.

The Word of God instructs us to bear one another’s burdens, while a few verses later we read that we have to bear our own burdens. (Galatians 6:1-5)

The King James version of the Bible uses the word ‘burden’ in both places. Upon looking into the meaning of the Greek words behind the word burden, we find that in verse two, where we’re instructed to help bear the burdens of others, the word reveals a weight, something heavy bearing down on us. The word burden in verse five divulges a task, or a service. So, while we are to help each other with the concerns/burdens that weigh us down, we are each expected to perform the tasks and services God asks of us. We’re each to fulfill our own purposes; our own destinies, but will likely require help along the way when the weight of being human becomes too heavy for one soul.

Throughout scripture we read over and over again that God is our help in time of trouble.

The writer of Hebrews encourages us greatly:

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:6 (KJV)

God often chooses to meet our needs through the hands and hearts of those around us. The only need I can think of that God provides Himself, personally, is that of redemption. When He redeemed us, saving us from sin and eternal destruction, He did that through the cross.

(picture from stock-clip.com)

Even as Jesus commanded Lazarus to come from the grave, He turned to those around him and instructed them to release him from the graveclothes that bound him. (John 11:43-44 KJV)

The burdens of this life serve as graveclothes. Through the grace of His redemption, we’re further blessed with the body of Christ - each other - to help tear away the confines of binding graveclothes.

Yet……we hide. Why do you hide?

Tired?

(photo courtesy of emortgageblog.com)

Tired. That’s the first, and frankly, only word that’s coming to mind right now. Who wants to read a blog post about being tired? We’re all tired of being tired, aren’t we?

Sometimes I don’t want to look for the cause of it – nor for a remedy for it. I just want to go upstairs and succumb to the voice of my bed calling me.

But even in my weariness, my ever churning brain begs to ask, why?

Sometimes it’s our diet, our lack of exercise, the side effect of a medication we’ve begun taking – it could be any number of things.

Sometimes the body just needs more rest than we’re giving it.

But, sometimes, it’s from carrying around burdens we were never meant to carry in the first place.

Two scriptures come to mind:

1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV): “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Our cares, or anxieties, become like a bag of heavy rocks we drag around with us, constantly making it harder to take another step. If God meant for us to haul those thing around ourselves, He’d have built us more like a horse or pack mule. Because He cares for us, He does the caring and carrying FOR us.

I painted this scripture on our bedroom wall, since it’s generally in our bedroom that I do my resting. (It got painted over, I need to put it up there again!)

Mark 6:31 (NIV): “…he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quietplace and get some rest."

Taking a little liberty, I changed the word ‘said’ to the word ‘whispers’ and the word ‘them’ to ‘me’ – making it personal, because my relationship with Jesus is a personal one.

Soon, I’m taking a week-long trip where I’ll be completely by myself for most of that week. I look forward to going with God to a quiet place and getting some rest. I’m excited about casting my cares on Him in a new and telling way during this week. I expect to write as many blog posts as I can during this quiet time with Him, taking note of all He shows me, though I may not share them all here.

I challenge you to find the time God has already etched out for you to spend with Him, quietly resting before Him, or digging into His Word – however He leads you, and cast off that heavy bag of rocks.

Then tell me how He lightens your load!