Self-Discoveries

(My photo)

Discovering anything new can be exciting and often, scary. Even if we discover something as exciting as inheriting a million dollars from a relative you didn’t know existed might carry an element of fear over the responsibilities of spending it wisely. Of course, discovering a tragedy is about to occur will instill fear, but to a questioning mind, the “why” behind it might be exciting, or to someone wanting change, the excitement might come in the aftermath of the tragedy.

I can think of discoveries where excitement could come without fear; little ones, and where fear could engulf without excitement; those that catch you off guard.

Most of my recent discoveries are about me. Some of these little discoveries tip the scale like a teeter-totter. While the discoveries provide fascinating explanations for a huge percentage of the ponderings in my mind, new ponderings take their place. I’m completely thrilled to find out there is an “off button” for all of this pondering! Bummed, though, that this is only a temporary solution. {{{sarcasm}}} “Apparently Ambien is an addictive substance the [old] doctor won’t give me indefinitely.” But, a swing in the positive direction reveals that while the [old] doctor gave pills, this new one has a bigger agenda filled with all sorts of telling revelations, knowledge and “fixes” – and he’s not only willing to share them with me, he’s eager!

So, yes, I’m excited. But, yes, there’s apprehension. But the uncertainties won’t   overwhelm me. I have the peace that passes all human understanding (Philippians 4:7), I know that God already saw this and is well ahead of me. God created me from nothing and knows everything there is to know about me; He knows how I can make the best of everything He created me to be. I love being me; I just don’t always understand being me! I love my quirkiness, my imagination, my openness, my ability to reach outside of myself, even to the embarrassment of many around me; which always makes me giggle. My trust in God gives me peace on the inside that, though it tries, even the outside can’t betray. The peace that comes from knowing and trusting God has brought me through everything I’ve faced so far, and will take me on to glory. Yes, I have His peace, and yes, I'm filled with His joy. Yes, I am blessed.

I plan to occasionally share my discoveries through blogging. Maybe as I explore who I am, you’ll see glimpses of yourself the mirror hasn’t revealed yet. Though I’ve been rather vague in this post, I’m a pretty transparent woman, I’ll expound. You may not accept everything I share; you may resist it or laugh at it; that’s okay, too.