Where She Intersects With Me

(Photo from: mnn.com and Echo Energies)

Do you ever talk about yourself as if you were someone else? Or is it just me? I see little scribbles throughout my notebooks referring to myself as, “she” and “her”. Perhaps I’m not ready to own everything I say about myself.

‘It began to dawn on her just how powerful she really is……’

Her words, ah yes, it comes back to her words… and of course, the intentions and conviction behind them. Does she really mean what she says? Or better yet, do I really mean what I say? If so, those words are powerful!

I make up my own phrases; my very own terminology, when I talk to myself about myself. Occasionally, I apply these phrases to others.

One such phrase is “sensory perception overload”. I don’t think it’s a real thing, but perhaps I should Google it. Okay, I just Googled it, maybe I’m not making it up. Hmmm….or maybe someone else just stole my idea (again). From the bit I read, we’re not actually talking about the same thing, at least, not exactly.

For me, this sensory perception overload is simply a matter of the way my senses sometime perceive things and can cause me to temporarily short-circuit, or overload; rather a hand-in-hand idea with “too much of a good thing”. When I’m reading a book, for example, and it gets too exciting or too intense for me, I can get flustered and need to slow down or reread the paragraph a time or two. When listening to someone talk on a topic I find exceptionally fascinating, I can’t always put them on pause or replay what they’re saying, because sometimes it’s in real-time, in real life, as opposed to watching and listening on YouTube or some other internet site. When the information they’re feeding me tantalizes the senses I’m using to understand it, I can get a bit overwhelmed. Since I can’t stop them from adding more information so quickly, I sometimes block them out. That’s a lose-lose situation for me, because I then lose the points they were making in the first place.

Am I being too transparent? Or do you encounter this as well?

Going back to what I quoted from a notebook earlier, ‘It began to dawn on her just how powerful she really is……’ I can perceive the power; it’s just beyond my reach. It’s a little too exciting to grab onto – yet. But, I will. It’s not far beyond my reach, I can see it. I’m just in the process of wrapping my head around it. Perhaps that’s what keeps it at arm’s length….my need to understand it before I depend on it.

Must we always understand everything we use? No. I don’t understand how electricity works. I simply flip the light switch and the darkness is instantly banished from the room. I don’t understand how my body heals itself when I obtain an injury, but in a matter of days, I can behold a cut become a scar and most often, disappear entirely. I don’t understand how I can spend so much and still have a positive balance in my checkbook, but praise God – I haven’t been overdrawn in decades.

Where does understanding intersect with faith? Is it even necessary to draw that line?

Are even the faithless faithful? Are those who question the very concept of faith, actually walking in faith daily but refusing to see it?

Personally, I’m quite convinced I don’t need to understand God completely before I can, by faith, believe Him. And sometimes, He totally blows my perception circuits!

“Trust in the LORD with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB)

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1 (KJV)