Standing on the Edge of Revelation

 

(picture from wallpapercave.com)

To me, intimacy is a big deal. I want intimacy with the people in my life.

I’ve noticed, though, that so many people in my life would rather keep to themselves. They don’t seem to want intimacy with their friends and family members. It’s not that they seem to have some big, deep, dark secrets in their lives that they’re hiding from people. Maybe it’s just that in a society that affords us so little privacy, they’re trying to create a private place. Maybe it’s just a matter of boundaries, of which I have too few.

The other night, in the middle of an emotional prayer… I may have gained a little insight on intimacy - or the fear of it. 

With great excitement, I prayed -

Heavenly Father, I love You. I adore You. I worship You! Help me to revel in You, to delight in You, to walk in Your presence and breathe my every breath in You, to bring my every thought to You.

Help me to see you with my spiritual eyes. I know that You see all of me. Allow me to see inside of You, allow me to look into Your heart. I need to see what You see, to feel what You feel.

Then, suddenly, I was afraid to see.
I looked away. My excitement went from a rolling boil to the simmering of a desperate plea.

Father, draw me close. Draw me closer and closer until I'm nestled in Your arms and can feel Your breath against my face and our hearts beat together as one. You created me and know my inner most thoughts, fears and longings, You know my desire to be completely immersed in You.

Don't let me go.
Hold me tight.
I need You.

Knowing intimacy is shared, fear wrapped her boney fingers around my tongue.

Now my prayer was filled with weeping.

Your love will be too great! Your pain will be too deep.
I feel as though I'll sink into the vast pool of Your love and the depth will overwhelm me.
If I drown in Your love, though I'm so terribly afraid of drowning, yet, let me abide there. Saturate me.
I long to explore the untouched places in Your heart.

Still afraid, but reassurance begins to creep in.

Your Word so often reminds me to fear not...
Your mercy exposes Your patience with me.
Your grace displays Your compassion for me.

I want to run completely into You. No looking back. No hesitation.
You didn’t give me a spirit of fear or timidity! You gave me Your Spirit of power, and of love and of a sound mind.

 

Questioning and reasoning peek into the conversation.

 

What will it take to step forward and leave my fear behind? What am I afraid to commit?
You are my Lord, my Savior, my God and my King. Surely my heart will explode with Your love. That’s a good thing! That’s the goal!

 

Submission falls over me with refreshing peace.

 

Father, replace any fear in me with Your holy boldness.
Have mercy on me, Lord. Snatch me up into Your arms of grace. Rescue me.
Again.

Again, I fell asleep as God continued to work on entwining my heart with His.

(from thommiodem.com)

Expecting?

(letterpost.nl)

“Answered prayers are all about one thing, us drawing closer to God.” – An enlightening line from the young man’s sermon tonight at Friendship Assembly of God here in Colorado Springs, Pastor Brad.

“We keep knocking, seeking and asking to keep maturing.” – Pastor Brad.

This young man says some really good stuff! And better yet, what he says makes me think. I love that!

God is looking for our faith, not the beauty of our prayed words. Are we trusting in the wording of our cries – or the God we’re calling out to?

Sometimes a thought crosses our mind that surprises us. Well, it happens to me, anyway.

In pondering the faith that fills my prayers (or should fill them), a prickly thought crept in: Am I looking forward to a day I’ll no longer need faith? Or to the day when my faith is all-consuming, abounding everywhere, always?

(virgin.com)

I savored the thought like a sip of old wine.

This would be the difference between looking at faith from the outside-in, as through a window at something we want to obtain vs. walking in that faith.

Our prayers can’t be uttered in faith when our lives are littered with sin. I wonder, what does God see when I pray without expectancy? Do I find myself in the same boat with the disciples when Jesus declared, “Oh ye of little faith…”

When I pray, “Heavenly Father, I want your peace, Your joy, Your power, Your presence…..” – How do I respond when He asks, “What will you do with it, Helen?”

Ouch! How would it feel to be praying and hear God call you out as a hypocrite? As the young preacher pointed out tonight, God isn’t afraid to speak plainly. Jesus instructed us not to pray like the hypocrites. As He taught us to pray, He was frank about those who prayed empty prayers for show.

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others…” – Matthew 6:5 (NIV)

(bestsayingsquotes.com)

What do our prayers look like to God?

Another tantalizing line from Pastor Brad: “We’re praying because we know we’ve won!” I suppose too many of us are praying with hopes that we “win” – but the risen Christ is all the hope we need; we’re on the winning side!

Well, then what?

When God answers “this prayer” of yours – then what? For example, in response to a prayer for healing of some sort, “If I’m pain-free I can serve You better, Lord….”

Perhaps if we serve Him better, our pain will disappear. And by better, I mean, with a more open heart; willingly, not begrudgingly – with love. Maybe we need to walk out the “then what” as we pray…

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” –Mark 11:24 (NIV)

And to drive home the prayer of expectancy, Pastor Brad used this verse:

“But, meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I trust that through your prayers I shall be granted to you.” – Philemon 1:22 (NKJV)

Roll a few of these tasty nuggets around in your head – then in your heart; ponder them with me. What are your thoughts on the matter?

(theunboundedspirit.com)