One-sided Conversations

 

One-sided conversations: we don’t usually find them pleasant unless we’re the ones doing all the talking. And for you non-talkers, they must be agony to endure.

While I’m confident God loves it when we come to Him chattering with excitement, or when we come to Him asking for help with a problem, I think He’s equally if not more excited when He sees us listening for His voice.

So, this post may be mostly for all the people out there that are members of the Chatty Club; those of us who talk more than we listen. I prefer to call myself loquacious instead of verbose, it just sounds sexier and more flattering. We’re a pretty big club. You’ve probably run into more of us than you thought you would.

We sometimes interrupt what you’re saying to get in our two cents. We sometimes let our minds wander while you’re talking so we’re prepared with something when it’s our turn, if you have a chance to interject at all. Yes, we can be incredibly rude. For that, I apologize in the pithiest way possible: Sorry.

We don’t mean to do it. We wish we could stop ourselves, and sometimes we can – till we hear our own voice again and realize, “Oops – no, I didn’t shut up yet”.

We need to quiet our mind long enough to adopt some method of listening.

Some suggestions include writing out all that’s on our mind first thing in the morning; a “morning dump” if you will.

Perhaps we could wait until evening for important conversations, because, surely by then we’ll be all talked out. (Ha! Can that even happen?)

Snap that rubberband on our wrist every time we hear our own voice?

Ah, we need a sidekick who can motion to us to shut-up when we’ve droned on for too long! Or someone who will pull us aside repeatedly to remind us that yes, we’re talking too much again.

Whether we like it or not, we chase away friendships (or potential friendships) because people will turn and walk the other way when they see us coming.

We can lose out on a lot of valuable information when we’re the one doing all the talking. Believe it or not, the other people in the conversation have valuable input, too! Maybe even more worthy of being spoken than what we’re spouting off about.

Listening. It’s not a hard concept. Some of us just seem genetically predisposed to find it difficult to process into something we routinely do.

I’m no psychologist, but I’d venture to guess that our constant chatter is attempting to fill some need in our lives.

Maybe as a child we were told that ‘children should be seen and not heard’, so now we’re making up for lost time.

All of that rambling to say ---- we need to practice listening. To become good at anything, it usually requires practice. This is no different. Even when talking with our heavenly Father.

Practice listening. God can work with a good listener.

The following verses bring up anger, too. We’ll get to that at another time.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak [and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires].” – James 1:19-20 NIV

Or – check out the wordier, more poetic version in the Message Bible: “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, [and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger].”  – James 1:19-20 MSG

What's in YOUR Mouth?

(picture from thisisinsider.com)

^{The other day, our pastor made mention of something John Osteen used to say, “There’s a miracle in your mouth.” I’ve heard variations of this over the years, but yet every time I ponder it, I recognize all over again just what a powerful my mouth I have.}

^{Sure, I make jokes about how much I talk, but, if I pay attention to what I’m saying, I realize I need to slow things down and guard my mouth; I get to be the one in control of what comes out of my mouth. Am I speaking truth? Even when, and perhaps, especially when - I’m the only one there to hear what I have to say, it’s important that I speak the truth, and that I speak it in love.}

^{“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” – Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)}

^{Yes, I want to grow into all that Jesus has for me. I want to bring glory to His Name, and I want to edify the body of Christ. But, I need to be a healthy member of the body of Christ in order to bring that edification to the table. If my thinking is tainted by some flaky wind of doctrine or lies from my past, I’m being deceived and I’m sharing that deception. I need to be renewing my mind with the Word of God all the time.}

^{Sometimes we can be in conversation with someone and think thoughts like, “Does this person even have a clue what they’re talking about?” – or, “This guy’s short a few marbles.” Truth be told, others have had these same thoughts about us.}

(picture from redeeminggod.com)

^{In scripture we read, “The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him? But, we have the mind of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 2:15 (NIV)}  

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^{If we fail to engage our own brain in our conversations, how much less do we tap into the mind of Christ? God has told us we have access to His mind, yet so often we rely on self, or worse, we just allow whatever happens to happen without considering what we can do to impact the situation.}

But, what about when I’m talking to myself? How am I impacting my life by speaking out things that are negative and destructive? I’m crippling God’s precious Princess. I’m creating handicap in my own life. I’m also acting in rebellion, denying the very power of God working in me.

(picture from treatingfungus.com)

^{In Romans 8:11 we read. “…if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.” (NIV)}

^{How can I deny the truth if the very Spirit of God lives within me? I’ll tell you how. If I’m still living a carnally-minded life. If I’m not renewing my mind with God’s Word – I have nothing else to fall back on except the lies I’ve always believed. By the way, a carnal life doesn’t have to mean a sinful life, it simply means a life perceived by natural means; through our five senses. There are things more reliable than our sense of seeing, hearing, touching, smelling and tasting. Once we give our lives over to Jesus, He promises that His Spirit will live within us. We can tap into that, we can receive from His Spirit, and we can rely on Him, trusting Him completely. He’ll never leave us, no matter what. His love is unconditional, and His presence is as real as His love.}

^{James 1:26 tells us, “If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” (NLT)}

(picture from wikiHow.com)

^{I’m a talker and I admit it. Sometimes I allow my words to get ahead of me and I say things I shouldn’t, to myself and to those around me. But, to say I can’t control it, would be a lie. I might be lazy about guarding my mouth, I might be slack in renewing my mind with the Word of God, I might be uneducated about the power I possess, but that’s all on me. God gave me control, I get to make the decisions regarding my life and how I live it. He gave you the very same control; the very same choices.}

^{“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.” – Deuteronomy 30:19-20a (NIV)}

^{“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.” – Proverbs 18:21 (AMP)}

^{Are you speaking truth? Are you speaking life? If not, you can choose to change that, through the Word of God.}

(picture from youchoose.org.au)

The Words of My Mouth

I heard this morning that faith is released through your mouth. Makes sense. Reportedly, the Bible says more about what you say as opposed to what you think. I imagine that’s because we tend to speak what we believe. We must believe a few things we don’t really realize we think about.

One of the first things our common enemy does is try to mess with our confession. Instead of talking about the good in our lives, we often wind up murmuring and complaining. Without some grace, the ground might have already opened up and swallowed us alive!

Sometimes we feel hard-pressed to find things to rejoice about, until we sit and take a moment to think about it. But even then, the rejoicing is often slow in coming. But the complaining? Most of us find it quite easy to complain.

I’ve had a terrific day with my husband today – no agenda, just enjoying each other’s company. But still, my mouth finds a way to complain about one thing or another.

Praise and worship involve sacrifice. Something’s gotta die. Clearly I need to sacrifice the pettiness that drives to complain when so much of my life is praiseworthy.

Not only will that negativity be absent from my days, but it will be replaced with the strength that comes from joy. Plus, my friends will find it a whole lot easier to chat with me!

Another place I see myself making negative confessions is when I find myself singing along to the radio or with others singing a song that isn’t really what I profess to believe. There’s a country song with a catchy tune that declares: “love don’t live here anymore.” Now why in the world would I want to come into agreement with that? Sure, some may say that I’m not necessarily agreeing that the song is true in my life, but what is my spirit picking up? How long will it be before love stops living here? Though that may sound superstitious – it’s not. We are what we think – and we think what we pour into our souls.

Just a few points to ponder on when we’re asking why things aren’t going like we want them to in our lives. What confessions come out of our mouth when we’re not really watching for them?

Do you have any favorite scriptures about our words?

Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”

Romans 10: 8-10 “But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”