Throwing Stones

(photo from atlantayogamovement.org)

When things don’t make sense, it’s sometimes hard not to come up with a billion or two critical words to sum up the situation; for those of us on the more verbose end of the spectrum. You pithy people can probably sum things up in a brief negative sentence.

But, why are we so quick to jump into the deep end of negativity, simply because something doesn’t make sense to us? Does everything have to make sense to us? Is it not remotely possible that God speaks differently to others than He speaks to us? What is it about the human mind that makes us so quick to assume, and so often to assume incorrectly?

Many of us have been saturated with a lifetime of criticism, words that flew off the offenders lips so quickly, they couldn’t possibly have had time to analyze what they were saying or whether the words were necessary or even accurate. There will always be something critical to say about most every situation, if you want to live that way. Biting our tongues can be a bloody battle, especially if your tongue is as unruly as mine can be.

Remember when you were young and your mother said, repeatedly, “If you can’t find something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? She didn’t make that up on her own; all of our mothers said it. And their advice, unsolicited though it may have been, will probably serve us well in most situations.

If we take a few seconds to run those words by our Father before we let them slither between our lips, we can save a lot of broken hearts and spirits and do far more good in the world around us, than if we selfishly insist on blurting out all the negative thoughts that pass through our brains. We can raise confident, happy children and turn the hearts of the bitter people on our path in a new direction. We can more openly talk to our friends and we can contribute solutions to the problems around us, rather than merely heap fuel onto the already blazing piles of trouble that appear at every turn.

Before we can speak, we first think. But, too often, we don’t give the thought process enough micro-seconds of time to function, so it can protect the speech process from harmful actions. Or am I the only one guilty of this?

Do you have any suggestions for those of us who engage our mouths before, or without engaging our brains? Most of us are guilty of this, whether we recognize it or not. Maybe we don’t stick around long enough to see the hurt in the eyes of those we offend, but whether we acknowledge the wounds or not – they’re there. We can create wounds even when the target of our negativity isn’t within earshot.

Our tongues are powerful, indeed. Our words can be as deadly as a car with a drunk driver behind the wheel. Sometimes harsh words might be appropriate, but those harsh worlds should be well-considered before they’re spoken, too.

Often we’re critical for no good reason, other times we’re critical because we just don’t understand what we’re criticizing.

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ’ and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.” – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 KJV

First, look for the good.

Where She Intersects With Me

(Photo from: mnn.com and Echo Energies)

Do you ever talk about yourself as if you were someone else? Or is it just me? I see little scribbles throughout my notebooks referring to myself as, “she” and “her”. Perhaps I’m not ready to own everything I say about myself.

‘It began to dawn on her just how powerful she really is……’

Her words, ah yes, it comes back to her words… and of course, the intentions and conviction behind them. Does she really mean what she says? Or better yet, do I really mean what I say? If so, those words are powerful!

I make up my own phrases; my very own terminology, when I talk to myself about myself. Occasionally, I apply these phrases to others.

One such phrase is “sensory perception overload”. I don’t think it’s a real thing, but perhaps I should Google it. Okay, I just Googled it, maybe I’m not making it up. Hmmm….or maybe someone else just stole my idea (again). From the bit I read, we’re not actually talking about the same thing, at least, not exactly.

For me, this sensory perception overload is simply a matter of the way my senses sometime perceive things and can cause me to temporarily short-circuit, or overload; rather a hand-in-hand idea with “too much of a good thing”. When I’m reading a book, for example, and it gets too exciting or too intense for me, I can get flustered and need to slow down or reread the paragraph a time or two. When listening to someone talk on a topic I find exceptionally fascinating, I can’t always put them on pause or replay what they’re saying, because sometimes it’s in real-time, in real life, as opposed to watching and listening on YouTube or some other internet site. When the information they’re feeding me tantalizes the senses I’m using to understand it, I can get a bit overwhelmed. Since I can’t stop them from adding more information so quickly, I sometimes block them out. That’s a lose-lose situation for me, because I then lose the points they were making in the first place.

Am I being too transparent? Or do you encounter this as well?

Going back to what I quoted from a notebook earlier, ‘It began to dawn on her just how powerful she really is……’ I can perceive the power; it’s just beyond my reach. It’s a little too exciting to grab onto – yet. But, I will. It’s not far beyond my reach, I can see it. I’m just in the process of wrapping my head around it. Perhaps that’s what keeps it at arm’s length….my need to understand it before I depend on it.

Must we always understand everything we use? No. I don’t understand how electricity works. I simply flip the light switch and the darkness is instantly banished from the room. I don’t understand how my body heals itself when I obtain an injury, but in a matter of days, I can behold a cut become a scar and most often, disappear entirely. I don’t understand how I can spend so much and still have a positive balance in my checkbook, but praise God – I haven’t been overdrawn in decades.

Where does understanding intersect with faith? Is it even necessary to draw that line?

Are even the faithless faithful? Are those who question the very concept of faith, actually walking in faith daily but refusing to see it?

Personally, I’m quite convinced I don’t need to understand God completely before I can, by faith, believe Him. And sometimes, He totally blows my perception circuits!

“Trust in the LORD with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB)

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1 (KJV)

Patterns in our Lives?

Why is it that often when we’re younger, things seem to fall into our laps? Life is going along fine until there’s one little delay or mishap, or even, tragically, a moment of horror or a catastrophe, and then suddenly our whole world changes.

 

I’m not going to suggest, as some have, that we brought on that delay or that tragedy, because for some of us, the mishap or catastrophe came upon us when we were far too young to have invited it into our lives.

 

But what do we do with that mishap or moment of horror? I’m going to use a mild illustration to make my point.

 

Throughout my husband’s military career we traveled a lot. When we drove, we totally expected to get lost. That became the “fun” part of road travel. We’ve joked about it and laughed heartily over it. Although at the time, it brought frustration and delay. We invited those “adventures” whether we were aware of what we were doing or not, because we fully expected them.

 

But traveling by air, now that was living. We never got lost! We were always on time, we never lost our luggage, we experienced respect and pleasantness that public services should always provide.

 

Then there was that fateful trip where everything went wrong. We were late getting to the airport (because we drove to Denver to catch our flight, we got lost). We were denied access to our flight, not because we missed it, but because we hadn’t arrived at the airport in sufficient time to make security feel comfortable. (We were five minutes into the “two hours ahead of time” we had to make, I kid you not.) So they pushed us back to the following flight, which caused us to miss our connecting flight, though we dashed through the airport with [grand]children in tow. Of course, this meant lost luggage because the luggage was on that original flight.

 

The fiasco continued through most of our trip. I’ll spare you the details, but the mounting frustrations were unimaginable.

 

From that point forward in my life, it seems that almost every flight I’ve been on has endured mishaps, sometimes multiple mishaps. Thank God, nothing tragic.

 

Now, in part, I might blame the security measures put in place after 9/11. In part, I might blame the aging planes out there on the tarmac. In part, I might blame the lack of customer service by a lot of customer servants. The fact that the customer is the one to butter their bread matters little these days.

 

But, in fact, somehow I’d sown seeds of dismay, discord, disarray, disappointment, delay, disillusionment, distance and confusion into my life.

 

How, you might ask. Or why would I do that?

 

I don’t believe it’s intentional, at least, not on a conscious level.

 

But instead of bragging about how our luggage is never lost, or how our flights always arrive on time, or how we were blessed with some special courtesy – now I find myself contending with other passengers about who’s had the worst experience while traveling.

 

MY WORDS!  ((shocked gasp))

 

I’m not guarding my words! I’ll be the first to point out how powerful our words are, but until last night’s dream, I didn’t realize what I’ve let slip through my lips. How could I be so careless? Especially about something I’ve been so passionate about?

 

No time to beat myself up; today, I will guard my mouth. Today I will be watchful. Today I will not invite disaster.

 

One mishap doesn’t have to become a pattern. There’s enough bad in the world, we can’t be inviting it our way.

 

Whether it’s travel plans, a failing business or rocky relationships, our words matter. Choose them carefully. In fact, invite God to help you choose them!

 

Proverbs 21:23

Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. (NIV)

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. (KJV)

Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief. (MSG)

The Longest Blog Post I've Ever Written - My Words

“Where’s his mother?” shouldn’t be my first thought, but it is. In years gone by I’d quickly noticed his innocence, his energy, his beauty, but that all came as second and third thoughts now.

He appeared to run playfully from an imaginary friend. Perhaps because he was across the lake and my eyes are now old, he was chasing a butterfly, but he laughed with excitement and fell to the ground as being tickled, rolling back and forth in the finely manicured, thick green grass.

“I want to do that,” caught in my heart and in my throat, “I want that freedom, that lack of inhibition.” Even though I was happy for the little boy, I felt a sadness for myself overshadow me. If I were to dance along the lakeside, I’d be certain first that I was quite alone.

Am I old, or do I just feel old? That’s a relevant question. If I ask my grandchildren, they’d laugh and heartily chime in with a loud “yes!” If I ask my father-in-law, who’s battle the decline of his body even more graphically than I, he’d laugh and shake his head, saying no repeatedly.

I suppose being old is a matter of aging as well as a matter of how I feel. Many weary young women feel old beyond their years. Many older women sprint past me on a hiking trail. If it’s more a matter of how we feel, I want to be the energetic woman who laughs at birthdays and carries on as though she’s barely entering her third decade of life.

But how do I get there?

Digging through my mind for a scripture that will provide my answer feels futile. Perhaps I don’t want to be responsible for that solution; accountable for the knowledge and wisdom it will impart to me.

What if I really am as lazy as I sometimes accuse myself of being?

Turning the page of a magazine article on physical fitness doesn’t do a thing for my waistline. Even juicing nutrient packed vegetables doesn’t move the numbers on the weight scale when I’m eating potato chips between sips of juice. I know this. So what’s the barrier between where I am and where I want to be?

I sometimes think cutting out my own tongue would be the most profitable thing I could do. I would keep me from eating the foods that make me fat and it would keep me from complaining, another one of my biggest vices. I wonder, if I HAD to write down everything I want to say, how much of it wouldn’t be worth saying? I could definitely see myself leaving out at least 99% of the complaints and whining.

So, is the problem my tongue?

Perhaps. Let’s turn from the youthful scene of a child at play to an important tool for pleasure and zeal for life.

Psalm 64:3 says, They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows.

When my tongue is sharp and I dispatch cruel words, they are most commonly aimed my way, to belittle or insult myself. I even manage to turn around the words I hear from the lips of others to construe some less than flattering meaning, meant to tear me down instead of build me up.

Psalm 120:2 Save me, LORD, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.

…especially Lord, when the tongue is secured inside my own mouth…. When I join the psalmist David in this prayer, I have to emphasize the point that often, that lying and deceitful tongue is my own. Throughout today, pay attention to the things you tell yourself in the midst of the events the day throws your way. You too may find that the things you hear yourself say are destructive, pulling you down rather than encouraging yourself. If David encouraged himself in the Lord, certainly we can as well. But whether it’s just what we’re used to hearing or what we think we deserve to hear, we might catch words revealing our own worst enemy.

Psalm 139:4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.

God knows what I’ll say next, long before I do. I’ll admit, I often wonder why He doesn’t shut my mouth before it gets me into trouble, or before I begin a barrage of self-talk that belittles and shames. Clearly there are some things in life that we ourselves are accountable for.

In 2 Corinthians 10:5 we find instructions about: Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (KJV)

Thoughts precede our words, or at least they’re suppose to. Sometimes, when I open my mouth to change feet, I insist that I spoke before thinking. But is that even possible? In His Word, God shows us how He wants us to live and how to fight our enemy and all the spirits of darkness. Our imaginations are our thoughts, which our words commonly reveal. When our thoughts and our words exalt themselves against the knowledge of God, we’re taught to cast them down; to bring them into captivity to the obedience of Christ. What does that mean? It simply means to take account of where we allow our mind to roam and how we allow our tongue to speak. Does it line up with what God says? Can we back it up with scripture?

If I betray myself with words of criticism, those words don’t line up with what God has to say about me in His Word. There are so many scriptures that reveal God’s thoughts and intents toward me. None of them betray me or the God in which Who’s image I’m made. God’s immortal enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy that which God loves most; us. (John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.)

Proverbs 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 15:4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death…..

As I examine my life, am I the cause of my own demise? Do I usher in death with the negative words I hurl at myself? If indeed I believe God’s Word, and I do, then I have no choice but to believe that the words my tongue utters contain the power of life and death. That’s a lot of power to play with so carelessly. When I’m reckless and allow perversions of God’s opinion of me to permeate my vocabulary, my own words pierce like a sword and crush my spirit. When I speak with wisdom, I speak healing to myself and my words become soothing, perpetuating life.

So perhaps I would be better off without my tongue. Though it’s not mentioned specifically in the gospel of Matthew where we read, metaphorically, about ridding ourselves of body parts that don’t profit us, I’ve taken the liberty to apply it, personally: And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew 5:29-30 (KJV)

Now, of course, I would never, could never cut out my own tongue, nor could I pluck out my own eye or cut off my own hand – I get the point. I’d be better off without it if I cannot control it.

Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.

1 Peter 3:10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.

Okay, so maybe I don’t need to cut it out, but I most definitely need to guard it, to control it, to be in charge of it!

James 3:9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

So, for the first fifty years of my life, I’ve allowed my mouth to literally put curses into my own life. With crystal clear reasoning and logic, I understand that this tongue with which I use to praise God, cannot be used to curse myself or anyone else, intentionally or otherwise. When we gain knowledge, we lose excuses.

THE GOOD OF MY TONGUE

So upon deciding I’ll keep my tongue, I take a look at what good it can do.

Psalm 66:17 I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.

Psalm 71:24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.

Psalm 73:9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.

Psalm 119:172 May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.

Psalm 126:2 Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”

Proverbs 10:20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.

Proverbs 10:31 From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be silenced.

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

Some are pithy, but I find verbose more aptly applies to my own self-description. I’m a woman of many words. I commonly remind myself to speak less, but say more. Oftentimes a phrase I use rolls around in my head from a song I’ve heard, and out it comes, accompanied with melody. This can become annoying to my hearers, believe it or not. But this mouth which can annoy, can also be taught to instruct and encourage, to bless and share wisdom.

Proverbs 31:26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Isaiah 50:4 The Sovereign LORD has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.

I yearn to recognize the same liberty Zacharias experienced, when Luke records: Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue set free, and he began to speak, praising God. Luke 1:64

Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: Acts 10:34 (KJV) If God will do it for Zacharias, He will do it for me! And most assuredly, I need Him to move on my behalf, His own Word tells me that I cannot, in and of myself, control my tongue.

James 3:5, 8 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark….but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

There’s so much to learn about the authority and power God’s given us. But a good place to start is at the place where we choose to submit ourselves, tongue and all, to Him and His lordship. Which reminds me of another scripture:  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 (KJV)

But, nowadays, submission is deemed a dirty word, an action to be shunned, an undesirable way to relate. Ah yes, pride makes simple things hard. But God makes hard things simple.

After a need spiritual reality check (and lunch), I cast my eyes across the lake again. The playful little boy who’s spirit captured my attention is long gone. The sunny morning has been displaced by a rainy afternoon. But determination has filled my heart. My youth and my vitality don’t have to fade if I choose not to let it. If I fill my mind and my mouth with God’s Word and words of my own that line up with His – I can do all things, through Christ which strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)

(All scripture used is NIV unless otherwise noted.)