A Peek Inside

(photo from pinterest.com)

Now, looking back, I see I may have set out to do something without asking God if it was even something He wanted me to do. It seemed like the right thing to do. It was something I would do instinctively; surely, it would be easy enough to do.

However, I don't actually remember asking for God's input on the matter. You know, you don't ask God if you should stop at the next traffic light. If it's red, you stop without giving it a second thought.

Then, I heard God weigh in on the matter.

After wrestling with my version of failure and questioning everything remotely related to the issue at hand, and redundantly asking the input of others, I opened my heart up enough to listen.

God's 'still small voice' said, "That wasn't your assignment."

No explanation necessary.

Surely, He might have frowned at the look of astonishment that overtook my face. Like a teacher who's stubborn student just 'doesn't get it' no matter what teaching approach they use, He might also have wanted to roll His eyes. A lesser god could even have given up on me.

But, no. He's long-suffering. He's patient. And, no, He didn't bite off more than He could chew when He took on loving me and drawing me to Himself.

He didn't scratch His head and whisper to the rest of the Trinity, "What do we do with this one?"

He didn't scrap His plans for my life.

He didn't rethink the purposes He created in me.

Instead, I felt His warm presence wrap me safely in the mantle of His mercy.

Shame fled.

Anger fell away.

Frustrations faded.

Loss was once again replaced with purpose. This time, I eagerly inquired of HIS purpose, pushing my puny human plans aside. Plans, mind you, that I'd thought ideal.

If you’ve ever found yourself sitting on this very same step, tell me your story…..please?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

(pinterest.com)

Yes, He's Still There

 As intimacy with our Creator grows, it becomes easier to abandon doubt.

How does intimacy grow between two individuals?

We stop holding back from each other, we dare to reveal our whole selves to each other and in doing so, love grows, trust grows and intimacy grows.

Once we’ve been betrayed and hurt a process of withholding begins within us, for the sake of self-protection.

In our relationship with God, disobedience is betrayal. Yet, when creation betrayed our Creator, He already had His arms out waiting for us.

“But God commends His love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8 (NKJV)

(discovermagazine.com)

God didn’t wait for us to make the first move. He didn’t wait for us to recognize our wrong doing or to come to Him to ask forgiveness. No, He provided a plan for our redemption and the reconciling of our relationship with Him before we even rebelled.

God’s love for us is unconditional. Nothing can separate us from His love!

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39 (NKJV)

(cafaweb.com)

Right in the middle of our ugliest sin – God loves us!

Most of us have known personal betrayal and the agony of the pain it causes. Who among us hasn’t felt that anguish?

We know trust is seldom easily restored, and as the betrayals amass, trust can completely fade away.

And even before we consider trusting our offender again, we’re confronted with the dilemma of forgiveness.

I believe the best way to enter any relationship that’s expected to last, especially marriage, is with the intentional plan to forgive. Offenses will come.

(allthingsclipart.com)

“Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!” - Luke 17:1 (NKJV)

Many of us attempt to enter into relationships with each other and with God, and expect to never be offended.

While walking out the gospels, Jesus even said things that offended His followers, many stopped following Him when He told them they had to eat His flesh and drink His blood. Without understanding, that does sound sick and disgusting.

When God confronts our sin, our pride, our disobedience or even our lack of participation in the relationship, sometimes we tend to get a bit bent out of shape. Don’t we? Often we’ll flat out deny our part in the matter.

(memegenerator.net)

Relationships between people require attention. If you routinely ignore your spouse, they’ll become offended, thinking they’re not important to you. How can we expect to ignore the most important relationship of our lives?

Our wounds can make us do crazy things.

But, unlike people, God is always anticipating our return, always looking to the reconciling of our relationship with Him. “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” - 2 Peter 3:9 (NKJV)

God, being God, reaches out to us continually.

Yet, we, in our fear or pride, attempt to hide things from Him, perhaps because we get away with hiding them from ourselves and others for a season.

We all need validation; to share our story in our own way. (I realize not everyone feels the need to talk to anyone, anywhere, like I do.) Yet, we think we can hold back parts of our story from the One Who’s seen it all.

As much as we crave intimacy, we’re the ones who stand in our own way.

God desires intimacy with us so much so, that He chose, out of love for us, to cover the cost of our offenses. He lovingly provides endless intimacy for the taking.

God loved us first, so that we could love Him. “We love Him because He first loved us.” - 1 John 4:19 (NKJV)

It’s our move.

It’s your move.

Decide now; what is your next step?

“…choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…But, as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” – Joshua 24:15 (NKJV)

My Arrogant Way

(photo from eldermatthews.blogspot.com)

Have you ever been told, “It’s my way or the highway…”? Okay, perhaps you weren’t told those words, but it was made clear to you that this is how the other person felt. Perhaps you were even the person behind those words.

Am I alone in this? I think I can compromise when it’s necessary, but, I often want things my way; or – worse yet, the way I think things should be. I’m going to go out there on a limb and guess that a whole new world of possibilities will open up for me once I get it through my thick skull that my way isn’t always the only correct way, and that my perspective isn’t always the only correct perspective.

My world view is just that; mine. It’s come to my attention that I don’t see things the way everyone else does. I see them through my own, very unique perspective. It’s the only perspective that I can actually see through, unless I borrow your glasses.

I imagine that if I lived during the days of Noah, I’d be one in the crowd mocking him for his efforts. If God didn’t speak the mission to me, I wouldn’t get it.

Because God speaks to me the way He does, it’s wrong for me to presume He’ll speak to you in the exact same way. He knows how to reach me; how to soften my heart to the point where I’ll hear what He’s saying – to me.

When He speaks to you, He’ll choose whatever methods He knows will touch your heart. For me to criticize your choices without hearing what He’s spoken to you, is hurtful and even sinful. I have no place in your conversation with God, unless I’m invited into it, by both parties.

I’ll admit it; I can be quick to judge. If it’s any consolation, God’s working with me on this. And, just so you know, it’s not pleasant. But, it’s necessary. I’ll be a better woman for it. I’ll be much easier to put up with when I get these control issues in check.

True; there’s a biblical way of doing things. But, as we all know, we all see what’s written in God’s Word from our own perspective. We see it as it was taught to us or as we arrogantly presume what it means. If we haven’t prayed over it for ourselves, we truly have no idea what God wants to personally convey to us through it. His love might look different to you than it does to me; it may function differently in your life than it does mine.

However, God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), this we know. So why are we all so confused? God seeks a humble people (James 4:10). When our lofty knowledge or our ego gets in the way, confusion is bound to ensue. (Proverbs 3:5-6) He alone knows what He will speak to you. He may send others our way to confirm His Word, and to teach us His Word, but it’s up to us to pursue Him; to pursue His heart. (Isaiah 48:17)

This takes us to the sin of pride, doesn’t it? My pride tells me that my way is the right way. Being humble before God allows me to seek HIS way. And it’s His loving kindness that draws us to repentance and to seek His face; His heart; His ways. (Romans 2:4)

Father, in Jesus’ Name I beseech Thee to have Thine own way in my heart, my soul, my mind – and my life; by the power of Your Holy Spirit, I yield myself to Thee and repent of my selfishness and arrogance. Amen and amen.

“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.” – 1 Corinthians 14:33 (KJV)

“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.” – James 4:10 (KJV) 

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV) 

“Thus saith the LORD, they Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I am the LORD they God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shoudest go.” – Isaiah 48:17 (KJV) 

“Or despises thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?” – Romans 2:4 (KJV)

It's Not About Me

Pride keeps us from being teachable; with no learning, we settle for being “less than” and hurt many around us.

Per www.dictionary.com one definition of pride reads: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

The old me was a Leo. Lions not only live in prides, but are a symbol of pride. Perhaps this is something I need to take a look at more closely. Male lions are proud animals. But note, this proud creature might starve if his females didn’t provide his food. She doesn’t just prepare it as a man’s mate might; she literally hunts her prey and brings it to him.

There’s an old song that says, “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run….” Pride keeps us from that wisdom, often costing us dearly. Pride rears its ugly head during our common, day-to-day opportunities to learn.

Finances are a good example. Sometime we insist we know a better way, or refuse to hear teaching that will free up our cash flow. A good pastor will teach his flock to tithe, not because it fills the offering plates, but because it blesses the givers. But money wounds can cause us to cling to every dollar that comes our way.

Parenting is another arena we tend to insist that our way is the right way, even when everyone around us can see our children running amuck or carrying unnecessary wounds around in their little hearts.

Even when we “hear” an alternate option, we don’t listen because we’ve already determined that our way is working for us – or will by tomorrow. Sometimes pride doesn’t even care if our way is working, it’s what we want, so we win.

And who suffers? In the example of parenting, it’s the children that suffer and sometimes the price tag is high. Our suffering doesn’t come until later if/when we recognize we fell short as a parent. If pride has finally been displaced we can see that help was available. But if not, then, of course, the falling short wasn’t our fault at all.

Pride goes before a fall. God hates pride, but uplifts the humble, the teachable, those willing to submit themselves to Him. Submission goes way beyond heartless compliance. Yes, if you hate the word submit, if it makes you scoff or cringe, you have a pride issue – and you’re making costly mistakes daily that can be avoided.

Deal with pride now or pay for it later. No beauty hides in self-righteous pride.

Just a few of the many scriptures pertaining to pride:

Psalm 10:4 In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.  (NIV)

Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 13:10 Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Proverbs 14:3 A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23 Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.

Isaiah 37:23 Who is it you have ridiculed and blasphemed? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes in pride? Against the Holy One of Israel!

Jeremiah 13:17 If you do not listen, I will weep in secret because of your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly, overflowing with tears, because the LORD’s flock will be taken captive.

Agreement

Agreeing with God; we don’t do it as much as we think we do.

Our minds are filled with all sorts of contradictions. If asked we might tell a friend that yes, we love ourselves, but it’s evident that in some areas of our life we don’t take care of ourselves. And we take care of the things we love – to the best of our ability. We might insist we have a good self-image, when in reality we have lies rolling around in our head that drag us down and cause us to doubt ourselves or our worth. We might declare in song that we are fearfully and wonderfully made – but then berate ourselves for how much weight we’ve gained or how lifeless our hair is or how badly our face is broken out again. We’re not even in agreement with ourselves, how much less with the Word of God?

God Word does tell us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made – (Psalm 139, I’ve included the entire psalm at the end of this blog post.)

His Word also declares that nothing can separate us from His love. Yet there are many times we feel unloved or even unlovable.

He says He’ll never leave us nor forsake us, yet how often do we feel alone and lonely, as if our last friend has fallen off the face of the earth.

When we’re filled with these contradictions – we’re like the instrument in the symphony that never been tuned, tearing up the whole song. Being in harmony with God brings His peace into our lives in an overwhelming manner. To be in harmony, we must be in agreement, not fighting God at every turn. Something inside of us wants to be right all the time, stirring up arguments that didn’t even exist. That’s ego, which can be a good thing sometimes, but without balance, there won’t be harmony. Without harmony, there won’t be peace. And thinking we can find peace without God is total dysfunction. It’s like insisting on finishing a puzzle when you know the missing piece has already been digested by the dog.

Psalm 139 (NKJV)

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
² You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
³ You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
⁵ You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
⁹ If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall^[a] on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
¹² Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

¹⁹ Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
²¹ Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
²² I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.