It's Not About Me

Pride keeps us from being teachable; with no learning, we settle for being “less than” and hurt many around us.

Per www.dictionary.com one definition of pride reads: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

The old me was a Leo. Lions not only live in prides, but are a symbol of pride. Perhaps this is something I need to take a look at more closely. Male lions are proud animals. But note, this proud creature might starve if his females didn’t provide his food. She doesn’t just prepare it as a man’s mate might; she literally hunts her prey and brings it to him.

There’s an old song that says, “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run….” Pride keeps us from that wisdom, often costing us dearly. Pride rears its ugly head during our common, day-to-day opportunities to learn.

Finances are a good example. Sometime we insist we know a better way, or refuse to hear teaching that will free up our cash flow. A good pastor will teach his flock to tithe, not because it fills the offering plates, but because it blesses the givers. But money wounds can cause us to cling to every dollar that comes our way.

Parenting is another arena we tend to insist that our way is the right way, even when everyone around us can see our children running amuck or carrying unnecessary wounds around in their little hearts.

Even when we “hear” an alternate option, we don’t listen because we’ve already determined that our way is working for us – or will by tomorrow. Sometimes pride doesn’t even care if our way is working, it’s what we want, so we win.

And who suffers? In the example of parenting, it’s the children that suffer and sometimes the price tag is high. Our suffering doesn’t come until later if/when we recognize we fell short as a parent. If pride has finally been displaced we can see that help was available. But if not, then, of course, the falling short wasn’t our fault at all.

Pride goes before a fall. God hates pride, but uplifts the humble, the teachable, those willing to submit themselves to Him. Submission goes way beyond heartless compliance. Yes, if you hate the word submit, if it makes you scoff or cringe, you have a pride issue – and you’re making costly mistakes daily that can be avoided.

Deal with pride now or pay for it later. No beauty hides in self-righteous pride.

Just a few of the many scriptures pertaining to pride:

Psalm 10:4 In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.  (NIV)

Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 13:10 Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Proverbs 14:3 A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23 Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.

Isaiah 37:23 Who is it you have ridiculed and blasphemed? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes in pride? Against the Holy One of Israel!

Jeremiah 13:17 If you do not listen, I will weep in secret because of your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly, overflowing with tears, because the LORD’s flock will be taken captive.

Protection and Responsibility

Funny, some men won’t carry umbrellas – “it’s not manly”. (I can’t help but question, and it’s manly to get wet??) Little girls love to play with them. Some are as pretty as they are practical. Shading us from the sun, or protecting us from a downpour of rain – they serve their purpose, only when we carry them with us. How many times have I groaned because I’ve left mine in the car?

It’s not practical to carry my large, purple umbrella around with me everywhere. There are clearly days when it just isn’t going to rain.

But there is an umbrella of protection we can’t afford to put down and leave behind.

When hell rains down a flood of catastrophes down upon us as individuals or as a nation or even as the human race, where’s our umbrella of protection?

Those catastrophes are sins and their consequences; murders, hate, prejudices, deceptions, witchcraft, radical Islam (or other radical belief systems) deviant sexuality, choices with no acknowledged consequences.

We can choose to lay down our umbrella. We can be seduced to put it down, or bribed, or deceived by empty promises to cast aside the faith required to do things God’s way. But we are the ones that lay it down when we choose to do things our own way; we are ultimately the ones responsible.

This umbrella is made of faith in God and His holy Word, prayer and relationship with the One Who created us.

The other day I heard someone say, “Who’s talking about the problem? The problem is a lack of godliness.”

God instructs us to “Be holy, as I am holy.” (See Leviticus 11:44 & 45, 19:2 and 1 Peter 1:16 at the bottom of this post.)

Throughout the Bible we are warned repeatedly about sin and its consequences, yet today, even Christians choose to ignore what God has said, leaving us wide open for the onslaught of evils that permeate our society today.

Can I say it enough? We need to be in God’s Word, reading it, learning it, depending on it, and obeying it – or suffer the consequences.

Leviticus 11:44 For I am the Lord your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy: (KJV)

Leviticus 11:45 For I am the Lord that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy. (KJV)

1 Peter 1:16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy. (KJV)

The Longest Blog Post I've Ever Written - My Words

“Where’s his mother?” shouldn’t be my first thought, but it is. In years gone by I’d quickly noticed his innocence, his energy, his beauty, but that all came as second and third thoughts now.

He appeared to run playfully from an imaginary friend. Perhaps because he was across the lake and my eyes are now old, he was chasing a butterfly, but he laughed with excitement and fell to the ground as being tickled, rolling back and forth in the finely manicured, thick green grass.

“I want to do that,” caught in my heart and in my throat, “I want that freedom, that lack of inhibition.” Even though I was happy for the little boy, I felt a sadness for myself overshadow me. If I were to dance along the lakeside, I’d be certain first that I was quite alone.

Am I old, or do I just feel old? That’s a relevant question. If I ask my grandchildren, they’d laugh and heartily chime in with a loud “yes!” If I ask my father-in-law, who’s battle the decline of his body even more graphically than I, he’d laugh and shake his head, saying no repeatedly.

I suppose being old is a matter of aging as well as a matter of how I feel. Many weary young women feel old beyond their years. Many older women sprint past me on a hiking trail. If it’s more a matter of how we feel, I want to be the energetic woman who laughs at birthdays and carries on as though she’s barely entering her third decade of life.

But how do I get there?

Digging through my mind for a scripture that will provide my answer feels futile. Perhaps I don’t want to be responsible for that solution; accountable for the knowledge and wisdom it will impart to me.

What if I really am as lazy as I sometimes accuse myself of being?

Turning the page of a magazine article on physical fitness doesn’t do a thing for my waistline. Even juicing nutrient packed vegetables doesn’t move the numbers on the weight scale when I’m eating potato chips between sips of juice. I know this. So what’s the barrier between where I am and where I want to be?

I sometimes think cutting out my own tongue would be the most profitable thing I could do. I would keep me from eating the foods that make me fat and it would keep me from complaining, another one of my biggest vices. I wonder, if I HAD to write down everything I want to say, how much of it wouldn’t be worth saying? I could definitely see myself leaving out at least 99% of the complaints and whining.

So, is the problem my tongue?

Perhaps. Let’s turn from the youthful scene of a child at play to an important tool for pleasure and zeal for life.

Psalm 64:3 says, They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows.

When my tongue is sharp and I dispatch cruel words, they are most commonly aimed my way, to belittle or insult myself. I even manage to turn around the words I hear from the lips of others to construe some less than flattering meaning, meant to tear me down instead of build me up.

Psalm 120:2 Save me, LORD, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.

…especially Lord, when the tongue is secured inside my own mouth…. When I join the psalmist David in this prayer, I have to emphasize the point that often, that lying and deceitful tongue is my own. Throughout today, pay attention to the things you tell yourself in the midst of the events the day throws your way. You too may find that the things you hear yourself say are destructive, pulling you down rather than encouraging yourself. If David encouraged himself in the Lord, certainly we can as well. But whether it’s just what we’re used to hearing or what we think we deserve to hear, we might catch words revealing our own worst enemy.

Psalm 139:4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.

God knows what I’ll say next, long before I do. I’ll admit, I often wonder why He doesn’t shut my mouth before it gets me into trouble, or before I begin a barrage of self-talk that belittles and shames. Clearly there are some things in life that we ourselves are accountable for.

In 2 Corinthians 10:5 we find instructions about: Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (KJV)

Thoughts precede our words, or at least they’re suppose to. Sometimes, when I open my mouth to change feet, I insist that I spoke before thinking. But is that even possible? In His Word, God shows us how He wants us to live and how to fight our enemy and all the spirits of darkness. Our imaginations are our thoughts, which our words commonly reveal. When our thoughts and our words exalt themselves against the knowledge of God, we’re taught to cast them down; to bring them into captivity to the obedience of Christ. What does that mean? It simply means to take account of where we allow our mind to roam and how we allow our tongue to speak. Does it line up with what God says? Can we back it up with scripture?

If I betray myself with words of criticism, those words don’t line up with what God has to say about me in His Word. There are so many scriptures that reveal God’s thoughts and intents toward me. None of them betray me or the God in which Who’s image I’m made. God’s immortal enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy that which God loves most; us. (John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.)

Proverbs 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 15:4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death…..

As I examine my life, am I the cause of my own demise? Do I usher in death with the negative words I hurl at myself? If indeed I believe God’s Word, and I do, then I have no choice but to believe that the words my tongue utters contain the power of life and death. That’s a lot of power to play with so carelessly. When I’m reckless and allow perversions of God’s opinion of me to permeate my vocabulary, my own words pierce like a sword and crush my spirit. When I speak with wisdom, I speak healing to myself and my words become soothing, perpetuating life.

So perhaps I would be better off without my tongue. Though it’s not mentioned specifically in the gospel of Matthew where we read, metaphorically, about ridding ourselves of body parts that don’t profit us, I’ve taken the liberty to apply it, personally: And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew 5:29-30 (KJV)

Now, of course, I would never, could never cut out my own tongue, nor could I pluck out my own eye or cut off my own hand – I get the point. I’d be better off without it if I cannot control it.

Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.

1 Peter 3:10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.

Okay, so maybe I don’t need to cut it out, but I most definitely need to guard it, to control it, to be in charge of it!

James 3:9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

So, for the first fifty years of my life, I’ve allowed my mouth to literally put curses into my own life. With crystal clear reasoning and logic, I understand that this tongue with which I use to praise God, cannot be used to curse myself or anyone else, intentionally or otherwise. When we gain knowledge, we lose excuses.

THE GOOD OF MY TONGUE

So upon deciding I’ll keep my tongue, I take a look at what good it can do.

Psalm 66:17 I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.

Psalm 71:24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.

Psalm 73:9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.

Psalm 119:172 May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.

Psalm 126:2 Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”

Proverbs 10:20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.

Proverbs 10:31 From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be silenced.

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

Some are pithy, but I find verbose more aptly applies to my own self-description. I’m a woman of many words. I commonly remind myself to speak less, but say more. Oftentimes a phrase I use rolls around in my head from a song I’ve heard, and out it comes, accompanied with melody. This can become annoying to my hearers, believe it or not. But this mouth which can annoy, can also be taught to instruct and encourage, to bless and share wisdom.

Proverbs 31:26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Isaiah 50:4 The Sovereign LORD has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.

I yearn to recognize the same liberty Zacharias experienced, when Luke records: Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue set free, and he began to speak, praising God. Luke 1:64

Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: Acts 10:34 (KJV) If God will do it for Zacharias, He will do it for me! And most assuredly, I need Him to move on my behalf, His own Word tells me that I cannot, in and of myself, control my tongue.

James 3:5, 8 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark….but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

There’s so much to learn about the authority and power God’s given us. But a good place to start is at the place where we choose to submit ourselves, tongue and all, to Him and His lordship. Which reminds me of another scripture:  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 (KJV)

But, nowadays, submission is deemed a dirty word, an action to be shunned, an undesirable way to relate. Ah yes, pride makes simple things hard. But God makes hard things simple.

After a need spiritual reality check (and lunch), I cast my eyes across the lake again. The playful little boy who’s spirit captured my attention is long gone. The sunny morning has been displaced by a rainy afternoon. But determination has filled my heart. My youth and my vitality don’t have to fade if I choose not to let it. If I fill my mind and my mouth with God’s Word and words of my own that line up with His – I can do all things, through Christ which strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)

(All scripture used is NIV unless otherwise noted.)

Good Thoughts

There’s a lot to be said for positive thinking. The Bible even tells us to think on the good things. That’s the pithy version of Philippians 4:8, which says, Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (KJV)

We also read in Proverbs 3:7 - For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he… (KJV)

So we know that what we think about is very important, even to God. But does what we think override what God says? Never.

I know a man that thinks that when his life is over he will simply cease to exist. He regularly tells me that he’s just not going to think about whether there’s an afterlife or not. “Whatever is going to happen, will happen,” he says.

But God, in His wisdom, allows us to choose what will happen. His Word spells it all out quite clearly. Joshua 24:15 starts out - And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve… (KJV)

Like the man of God in the pulpit last Sunday said, you can deal with this, or you can deal with that. You can deal with what God requires of you, or you can deal with eternal damnation.

To say this isn’t fair is to not look at the big picture. Humankind sins against the God that created us. The penalty for sin is death and eternal punishment. But God in His mercy provided as escape from that penalty; He sent His Son Jesus to bare our punishment for us. He didn’t have to do that, but His love for us compelled Him.

Just thinking nice thoughts about a pleasant afterlife, or that there is no afterlife at all, isn’t enough to secure peace for your spirit. Your spirit lives forever – somewhere. You get to choose where.

Choose you this day whom ye will serve….

One Brick at a Time, Sweet Jesus

So, those stones, or bricks, of which we speak, are made up of our own sin – requiring repentance, and of the sins of others – requiring forgiveness. What else might they be made of or cut from?

If I grow up thinking my neighbor hates me because she never comes out to see me or play with me, but the reality of it is that she’s got some sickness I know nothing about that keeps her housebound, what can we call the material that makes up this brick? I call it deception. It wasn’t the neighbor girl that deceived me, it was lack of knowledge.

When I think I know everything, or enough about a matter to form an opinion or belief about it, I might be ripping myself off.

We can never know enough about God and His Word; this is why we’re instructed to stay in His Word continually. About the time we think we “know it all” deceptions come in like an avalanche and it commonly looks like confusion or loss or the belief of an outright lie.

That (imaginary) neighbor girl had no intention to deceive me; I created the  deception in my own mind. Enlightenment about her sickness could have saved me from those feelings of rejection.

We can apply this on a broad scale and we can shine it into the smallest deceptions in our lives.

Just a few of the scriptures that speak to us of the lack of knowledge or sense, include:

Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense.

Isaiah 5:13 Therefore my people will go into exile for lack of understanding; those of high rank will die of hunger and the common people will be parched with thirst.

Hosea 4:6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children.

And Proverbs 29:18 tells us: Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.  – And without the knowledge of the things of God, any vision we have is askew.

So once again, I’m going to point us back to God’s Word; back to reading, listening to and obeying God’s Word. There we will gain the knowledge we need to see as much of the picture as we need to see in order to not be deceived and to uncover the deceptions already in place. This is where we’ll learn to prosper and live lives pleasing to God.

More Brick Work

So, some of the bricks in our walls represent the sin in our lives. Those are tough ones to disassemble. But we can do it.

Other bricks in our walls represent the sins of others. When we sin, we aren’t the only ones affected by that sin. Our sin affects everyone around us, whether we realize it or not. Yes, even our secret sins. Just as when others sin, sometimes we’re the one in the fallout.

So to pull out those bricks, we need the essential key of forgiveness. I’ve written about this before, but it keeps resonating in my heart, so I’ll keep writing about it. Maybe it’s more for me than you.

Matthew 6:14 & 15 tell us, For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (KJV)

Matthew 14:21 & 22 go on to say, Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. (KJV)

Forgiving is a big deal to God. He mercifully forgives and expects us to do likewise. Even the familiar prayer many of us say from memory indicates that we already know this when we declare: …and forgive us our debts/trespasses/sins…as we forgive others… If God were only as forgiving as we are, we’d all burn in hell forever.

But forgiving comes easy to God, we contend. Thank God for His mercy, but our sin grieves Him far more than the sins of others grieve us. Not so, you say? While it is accurate to say that the sins of others can cripple us, suck us down into victimhood and torment our minds. They can sometimes scar us physically and emotionally. They can haunt us, playing out in our memories over and over again. Believe me, I know.

But Jesus says, The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. (John 10:10 KJV) This is why He lovingly instructs us to forgive those who have sinned against us; to set us free to live abundantly!

Forgiveness is not giving permission to anyone to hurt you or take advantage of you time and time again. Forgiveness does not suggest that what they’ve done is okay. Forgiveness says nothing about what they’ve done – but everything about who you are. Forgiveness set you free to knock down a few more of the bricks in your walls.

One Brick at a Time

We weren’t born knowing everything we’ll need to know and armed with all the weapons we’ll use in warfare. Even Jesus learned (Luke 2:52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. KJV) But everything we need is already made available to us through God’s Word and His Holy Spirit. But it’s our responsibility to “study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” – 2 Timothy 2:15 KJV

We need to read from God’s Word daily and ask Him to reveal its secrets to us; secrets that are not hidden from us, but for us. 

Many have gone before us and share their insight through speaking engagements and books. I’m reading several books at once and will attempt to share what I’m learning. (I’ll reference any books I quote.) Demolishing these walls will take time and effort on our part, but it doesn’t have to drain our strength and consume the rest of our lives. God has purpose for us in wholeness, that’s where He wants us.

To establish a firm foundation in Christ, in Whom is found true freedom from the confines of those walls we’ve erected over time, we want to dive into scripture and discover the basis for that firm foundation.

In 2 Timothy 2:19 we read: Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity. (KJV)

So, the first, and for many of us, the hardest thing we need to do is depart from iniquity. What does that mean? According to www.dictionary.com the word iniquity means: 1) gross injustice or wickedness. 2) a violation of a right or duty; wicked act; sin. For the purpose of this blog post, I’ll whittle that down to say that we need to depart from sin. That same source tells us that the word, depart, means: 1) to go away; leave. 2) to diverge or deviate. 3) to pass away, as from life or existence: die. Clearly God wants us to “go away” from sin; to “die” to sin; but I took a better look at the word diverge. It means: 1) to move, lie, or extend in different directions from a common point; branch off. 4) to turn aside or deviate, as from a path, practice, or plan.

Clearly we are to turn aside from, deviate from, move in a different direction from, go away from and/or die to – the practice of sin.

Some of us might be blinded enough to think we don’t sin. Let’s see what the Bible says about that.

Romans 3:23 says, For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God

1 John 1:8 says, If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. Verse 10 goes on to say, If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.  (KJV)

1 John 2:9 says, He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.  (KJV)

But praise be to God for 1 John 1:9, which says, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  (KJV)

So many of us claim to be Christians but continue in our sin. It make us look bad, and it makes God look bad to a world looking for answers, as if His grace and mercy are for nothing, as though He doesn’t really save or heal.

All of the bricks in our walls are not there because of our sin. But some of them are cut straight out of the rocks of sin we allow to continue in our lives. Take heed to 1 John 1:9 – get those sins confessed and repent of them; turn away from them; depart from them; refuse to give them place in your life for another minute. Will it be easy or automatic? Nope. We’ll need God’s help. Most of what He requires of us depends on Him and the power He gives us for the asking.

None of the promises in the Bible are ours if we don’t depart from sin.

The next brick isn’t a little one either…