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| (photo from vedictruth.com) |
I’m going to
be transparent with you today. Maybe a little too transparent.
As a child,
we see things differently than we do as grow ups, but sometimes those childhood
thoughts stick with us. Even when we have the perspective of an adult, silly
thoughts from yesteryear can wander through our minds at the most unexpected
times.
I’ve always
processed my thoughts differently than most people around me. In our decades of
marriage, Dave has often told me he doesn’t know anyone who thinks like I do. I
never took it any other way than complimentary. Sometimes, he even seems to
admire the way I think.
I would
guess, though I’ve never looked into it, that I’m somewhere on the autism
spectrum. But perhaps we’re all somewhere on the spectrum. They say there’s a
fine line between autism and genius. I’m not saying I’m a genius, but maybe I
dance on that fine line. I’m not talking about common sense or even intelligence,
but the way my brain processes my thoughts.
As a child,
I just saw myself as different. Most children probably go through that phase at
some point. But, I’ve carried the thought, intact, with me for the past 60
years or so. In childhood, I was convinced that I was “retarded” (the word used
in that day), but that no one would tell me or admit it to me. Silly? Perhaps.
Over the
years, the thought has crossed my mind from time to time.
Last night I
was worshiping God with other women as praise music filled through the room and
I prayed for those I love most. (I’m guessing your name was whispered to God,
backed by volumes of faith for your every need.)
At one point,
when God spoke to me, He shared a little secret with me. He said, “You know,
Dave would still love you, even if you were retarded.” (I’m guessing He chose
that word because it’s the word I used as a child.) It instantly took me back
to feelings of insecurity. But then just as quickly, filled me with laughter.
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| (picture from coolcatteacher.com) |
Yes. Dave
loves me that much. He’s definitely the man God created to be my husband. No
one else would do. Not everyone marries the person God created specifically for
them. Some of us get ahead of God or don’t even consider asking Him if the
person they plan to marry has His approval.
Somehow,
even though I didn’t know the voice of God way back when, I knew on our first
date that Dave was the man I’d marry. There are plenty of times when we
frustrate each other, even to this day, but neither of us has ever second-guessed
our decision, even in the hardest of times.
The whole
point in my vulnerability today is to tell you that God really does speak to
us. His Word states, “Anyone with ears to hear, should listen and understand!”
- Matthew 11:15 (NLT) God isn’t
merely saying that if you have globs of skin to hold up your glasses, you’ll
hear Him. We have spiritual ears. We need to learn to listen with THOSE ears.
As a teen,
on our first date, did I know I was hearing from God? No. But that didn’t stop
Him from speaking to me. Like me, He always has something to say. Not so much
like me, what He has to say is always worth listening to.
So, whether
there’s praise music on or not, whether you’re alone or in a crowd, He’s
talking to you. If you’re listening for His voice, you’ll hear Him. Listen! His
Word also tells us, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they
follow Me.” - John 10:27 (NKJV)
You may be
tempted to say that you never hear Him. Or that He doesn’t bother to speak to
you. You’re mistaken. There’s so much He wants to share with you. He wants you to
know the depths of His love for you. It’s His desire to impart to us His knowledge,
His wisdom and His understanding.
(photo from alabamasinus.com)
Pay
attention. Listen. You’ll hear. It may surprise you. But, you’ll hear Him!
