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| (Meme from pinterest.com) |
One
of my favorite quotes: “And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight
inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anais
Most
of the time, I suppose we create the drama in our own lives – it’s viability is
based on our responses to what’s going on around us.
At
times of emotional upheaval (which I’m experiencing in overload capacity,
lately), I tend to look inward and ponder a plethora of questions about myself.
Oftentimes, I look outward and challenge the behaviors of those around me. And
sometimes, I mentally or verbally attack those whom I believe are unjustly
hurting me; whether I’m actually their target or not.
My
energies are probably best served looking inward, because I’m the only one I
can truly change. I can make an impact, either positive or negative, on those
around me; those who rub me like sandpaper and those who uplift and encourage
me. But, we generally change who we are from the inside-out.
Granted,
people who lose a lot of weight can respond to the new-found attention they may
receive and alter their behavior. But, again, that’s all coming from the
inside; their response to that perceived attention. If we were to be the victim
of a car accident and lose our legs, that would alter what we can do, or at the
very least, how we do it – but if it changes who we are, it’s because of
internal responses to what we’ve been through. So literally, the accident can
remove my legs, but my response can cripple me.
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| (photo from mynewnormals.com) |
Being
transparent here; when I find myself the “victim” of insults or criticism, I
tend to want to lash out verbally. And while I may not confront you to your
face, my sin will gravitate toward the ugliness of gossip as I tell someone
else how cruel you found it necessary to treat me.
I
suppose it’s some perverted picture of self-protection, but, clearly it doesn’t
actually do any self-protecting. It doesn’t protect anyone. It just passes the
hurt along. Someone once said that if I kill you, you die once. If I gossip
about you, I can kill you a million times over. Ouch!
In
my moments of tenderness and vulnerability, when I ponder who I am and what I’m
doing in this great big world, my purpose in being here and how I’m influenced
by all of you around me, I find there’s healing that needs to take place on a buried
level; I have to search it out.
Only
God knows me well enough to navigate the waters of my internal being, so I turn
to Him to be my guide, for my own heart can deceive me.
“For if our heart condemn us, God is
greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.” – 1 John 3:20 (KJV)
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| (photo from tehcute.com) |
There’s
a song in Psalm 61, I sang it often in years gone by. But, like so many of
those songs, I need to dig it out again. You may remember it, too? I’ll share
the song version I learned, but the actual scripture is slightly different.
Hear my cry, O God, attend unto my
prayer.
From the ends of the earth will I cry
unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher
than I.
For Thou hast been a shelter for me, a
strong tower from the enemy.
I will abide in Thy presence forever, I
will trust in the covert of Thy wings.
Hear my cry, O God, attend unto my
prayer.
From the ends of the earth will I cry
unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher
than I.
For Thou, O God, hast heard my cry, Thou
hast given me the heritage of Your sons,
I will abide in Thy presence forever, I
will trust in the covert of Your wings.
Hear my cry, O God, attend unto my
prayer.
From the ends of the earth will I cry
unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher
than I.
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| (photo from pbase.com) |
Can
you relate at all?
