The Blue Dress Ball

Today - a story!

Maria had just found the perfect dress at the new consignment store in town. It was more like a gown than a mere dress, but it was the perfect shade of blue and fit like a glove. She giggled with glee as she looked at herself in the mirror.

She had moved to town little more than a year ago and quickly fell in love with the enchantment that filled the views from Main Street. Everything from the architecture of the old homes to the manicured lawns made her feel like she’d moved to the set of a cozy old movie. Everyone seemed friendly and welcoming.

Being forced to move from her old place a thousand miles away, she felt like her life was over. But here she could reinvent herself.

“Could life here really be this perfect?” she asked herself every morning as the sun came through her bedroom window.

But she was challenged to become an accepted member of her new community within the first few months of living there in paradise.

When the posters went up inviting the whole town to the annual “Blue Dress Ball” she knew it would be the perfect opportunity to show these folks what she was made of and how she could creative she could be when helping out. Staring at the poster, she imagined designing decorations and showing off her charcuterie board magic to pitch in with the catering.

The first day the planning committee met, she found herself sitting in the middle of a room filled with women who already knew their role; women who made it clear that they had things all wrapped up before she even moved to town. The meeting was just a social event that aimed to bring grand attention to the ones who always made it a huge sensation.

Saddened, but not defeated, Maria eased into the idea of attending without being taxed by securing party perfection. What a novel idea. In her old town she was the one who pulled everything together, constantly overwhelmed and exhausted after each community event.

“This might be a good thing,” she mused to herself with a chuckle, knowing she’d soon become frustrated with the notion of not being needed.

She did her best to be available should someone ask for her help with something, but when the big day dawned, it turned out that she wasn’t needed at all.

“I’ll just enjoy myself and get to know everyone,” she concluded.

Entering the park that surrounded the town center pavilion, she marveled at the lights and decorations the women had contrived. It was truly beautiful. Half the town was already there by the time she waltzed up front smiling from ear to ear, ready to introduce herself to everyone she hadn’t yet met.

Before perusing the heavenly smelling delicacies on the beautifully adorned tables and before the music swept her off her feet, she realized that no one was smiling back at her. As a matter of fact, they all seemed to be scowling at her.

One pretty teenager sashayed past her and spoke quite loudly, to be heard over the music and to make sure she embarrassed the newcomer. She said, “It’s called the Blue Dress Ball” for a reason, ma’am.”

She tossed her curls over her shoulder and joined arms with her friends without missing a beat. They all laughed at her like she was a freak.

“My dress has blue on it!” she insisted to herself, trying to keep the smile from falling off her face.

Her smart dress was white with small blue flowers coming up from the hem. As she peered around at all the other women, she saw them lower their faces and shake their heads.

She quickly made her exit and ran home.

Sitting at her table in tears she promised she’d never speak to a single woman in this mean-spirited little town.

Then, no. She realized that wasn’t true. She’d have to speak to them. She lived there now. “What happened to the enchantment?” she whimpered.

She changed into her pajamas and into bed early, forcing her thoughts to avoid her feelings of humiliation.

Facing the townsfolk in the following days proved easier than she’d thought and before long, she began to feel like maybe she did belong there after all, noting that NEXT year, her dress for the ball would be completely blue.

Now she stared at the beautiful blue dress she’d found and bought before anyone else had a chance to snatch it up.

By the time the posters went up publicizing the ball this year, she was ready. She’d dropped her dress at the cleaners to make sure it was clean and pressed before the big night.

No, she didn’t get to help much this year either, but she pushed her way in where she could. Working from home didn’t give her the opportunities to make friends in the workplace. But she overzealously tried to find common ground with most every woman in the grocery store or the other shops on Main Street.

She was reluctantly invited to help put the posters up. “They don’t know what they’re missing,” she comforted herself. “I can do so much more, we could work together, my ideas would complement theirs, not challenge them. Maybe next year.”

This year, she would again try to enjoy being a mere participant, properly dressed this time!

The day before the ball she walked all the way to the dry cleaners, hoping to strike up conversation with anyone who looked her way. She wasn’t all that successful but talked the ears off the girl behind the counter at the cleaners.

When the girl retrieved the dress for her, she reached out with joy, knowing she’d fit in this year.

But the air left her lungs as she beheld her beautiful GREEN dress.

“How could this have happened?” she whispered to herself, trying to hide her panic.

She nodded at the girl and quickly left, clutching the dress close so no one would ask to see it. Not that anyone did.

She hurried home, forcing her tears to wait till she was behind closed doors.

She hung the dress in the hallway and stepped back to look at it again. She choked on her own spit. How had her beautiful blue gown turned green? Was this some cruel joke conjured up by someone who knew how embarrassed she’d been last year? She stared at it for at least ten minutes before she tossed it in the closet, letting it fall to the floor and slammed the door shut.

“The ball is tomorrow night. There’s no time to find something else that will work, surely every blue dress in town had been bought up by now,” she spoke down to herself. Even the few friends she’d made wouldn’t be able to help.

“It is what it is. I just won’t go,” she said with a stiff upper lip. “Maybe I’ll drive to the next town over and see a movie. By myself.”

After a deep breath and a promise to herself not to cry, she headed to the kitchen for ice cream.

A week later, disappointment still covering every place on her face, she was searching for a missing sneaker. “I live alone!” she muttered, “How can it not be with the other one?”

Crawling on her bedroom floor, she looked under the bed on both sides, then reached up to turn the knob on her closet door. Pulling it open, she grumbled a curse on herself if it wasn’t hiding somewhere in there.

Sitting crossed legged on the floor in front of the closet, her eyes wandered over to the new dress she’d refused to look at all week, still covered in the dry cleaners plastic.

Before she could even begin to search for her sneaker, her eyes widened and she gasped, holding her hands over her mouth.

In slow motion, she reached forward to grab at the dress.

The plastic wrap protecting it was – yellow!

How had she not seen that the day she picked it up?

She frantically ripped off the plastic to see that yes; her dress was still – blue.

She had no one to blame. She had no words to hurl at her own baffled brain. She felt tears gather in the corner of her eyes. She rocked back and forth for a few minutes, holding the dress to her chest. Then she wept.

 

What illusions are we falling for?

What color is the veil that hides God’s truth from us, keeping us from fulfilling His purposes in our lives?

What color veil has satan hung between our eyes and our reflection, hiding our beauty from us?

Our heavenly Father is the only One Who sees us as we truly are, because He sees the new creation we became when we first trusted in His Son.

I’m praying we begin to recognize the “protective plastic” that obscures truth and fools us into believing lies about ourselves AND lies about God, Himself.

 

Inner Dialog

(loddymicucci.com)

What’s your mantra? Does it line up with what you want it to be?

I use the term ‘mantra’ lightly, as it’s not necessarily a prayer or incantation I refer to, but the definition that says it’s is simply an often repeated word or phrase.

To me, your mantra is the word or phrase your mind plays back to you regularly. For example, one might hear her own voice daily declaring, “I’m so fat, I’ll never lose this weight….” Or, one might hear her inner voice telling her something like, “I’m powerful, positive, healthy and strong!”

Which voice is likely to empower you and help you to get the most out of your day? Which is likely to take you in the right direction?

We may think we have a positive mantra because we want to be a positive person. But, if things aren’t going as we want them to, or if people are less than enthusiastic about hanging out with us, maybe we’d better take a closer listen to what we tell ourselves every day.

(examinedexistence.com)

Admittedly, it can be hard to make a positive profession about our weight when our jeans get tighter every time we put them on. When everything around us seems to be going wrong, it’s not always easy to declare, in a whisper, that we are successful, happy people.

We too often tend to look at our circumstances, and then – access the situation. Our attitude can change our situations!

No one else knows your secret thoughts, your hidden fears. Well, accept God Himself. We can become masters of deceit when we don’t want the people around us to know how we feel or what we’re thinking.

Never really thought of yourself as deceitful? Me neither. But, who are we deceiving more, those who surround us, who love us – or ourselves?

(silvieandmaryl.com)

Walk past a picture window and glance at your reflection. What’s your immediate response? Yes, the one that flashes through your mind before you clean it up to tell me about it.

Granted, if your physique isn’t something you struggle with, that might be a bad example.

Maybe you view the people around you as more powerful than yourself. Maybe you’re intimidated by them. When the man from the next office over strides by with his shoulders back like he owns the world, does that bother you?

Or maybe, you think you’re better than him. Maybe your ego shouts over any voices of intimidation.

(linkedin.com)

Okay, so maybe I’m coming up with bad examples. What comes to your mind?

Where is it hard to say something nice about yourself? Where do you find it hardest to take compliments? Where is it most difficult to believe what God says about you?

It just could be that the soundtrack playing your mantra has become so familiar to you, that you don’t consciously hear it anymore. But, it’s still feeding you a lie. And the part of you that’s being fed that lie is the part of you you’re least comfortable with, it may even embarrass you.

So, take a minute to listen. Hear what you say to yourself every day. The best place to listen is in front of a mirror. Write it down. Is it good? Is it something you’d proudly share with others?

Within the secrets of successful people is tucked away a precious nugget that says they can be who they want to be, because they already see themselves that way.

 

(prepare1.com)

If I see myself as fat and lazy, I’m probably not going to find it easy to live the life of a healthy, productive woman. Logical. But, we take our thoughts for granted. Only we can change them, and it’s our choice to do so or not.

Where will you start making changes today? That mantra won’t magically change overnight. You’ll have to work at it. You’ve lived with it for how long now?

But, let the changes begin right now!

You might know what Jeremiah 29:11 says. You might know that God has good thoughts of you; good plans for you. But, do you tie His hands with your own unbelief? Do you sabotage His plans with your negative mantras and insecurities?

Whether it seems easy to do or not, - trust Him.

(familytreecounseling.com)

“How precious also are they thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand…” – Psalm 139:17 – 18 (KJV)

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

What's a Parent to Do?

(I apologize, I don't recall where I got this picture.)

Our worth. Where does it come from? How do we build our children’s self-worth and self-esteem? How do they know they’re worth loving? How do we teach them of their tremendous value?

Is it up to us to prevent them from being quitters? Is it up to us to see to it that they become all they can be, instead of settling for whatever comes along? Is it up to us to plant seeds of confidence in them so that they don’t hop from one girlfriend/boyfriend for another in an endless search for completion?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, our value, our worth is intrinsic. That means we were born with it, we were created with unfathomable value already built into us. It isn’t what we accomplish or how great we look that determines our value.

But do we believe that? No, I think not. If we believed it, it would show in how we carry ourselves, how we treat ourselves and others and in how we raise our children.

There’s far too much depression and fear surrounding us. When did we let that creep in? If we let it in so long ago that we don’t even remember, then it’s time we stand our ground and kick it out the front door with purpose and intent! Then we can take measures to insure it doesn’t infiltrate our lives and our homes again.

It would take many more words than a simple blog post to answer all of the above questions. But, maybe by admitting the answer to the first question, the other answers will begin to come to us.

Our value comes from our Creator. The very God that took the time to breathe life into us also placed unspeakable value into our lives. None of us is a mistake; none of us is destined to “settle” in life. Jesus Himself came to give us life and life more abundantly! He even said so! “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” – John 10:10 (KJV)

When we believe there is a God, a God Who loves us – we also have to face the fact there we have an enemy, one which seeks to steal from us, to kill us and to utterly destroy us. And he does so, simply because God loves us. If he can convince us we have little or no worth, what point is there in existing? What point is there in striving to be all we can be?

To be continued…..

Wintertime

As I look out my dining room window over the gray and brown city that sprawls out before my eyes, the stillness and silence captures my attention almost as quickly as the drab, muted colors. It looks lifeless out there. I find myself discontent, ungrateful and wanting springtime hues to splatter themselves on the picture before me, a picture to bland to even place within this blog post.

 

But what lies in wait out there? Seasons occur for a reason. Plants go dormant, temperatures drop, leaves disappear, clouds block out the warmth of the sunshine, all to create a season of preparation. Why can’t the whole world enjoy seasons the way Florida does? Their temperatures dip – but not to the point of freezing temperatures that chill us to the bone. Yet I’m glad the whole world doesn’t have to watch the seasons pass like those closer to the North Pole.

 

Diversity. God must really dig it.

 

I’ve learned that diversity is not without reason and purpose. Just as you and I are different, intentionally, God enjoys it all. He created us for His good pleasure. He gave us this world to live in and take care of, as it takes care of us. He’s provided everything we need and placed us in the middle of it. There’s so much to learn, if we’ll just pay attention to the illustrations He surrounds us with.

 

I wonder how many of us die in the wintertime, simply because we don’t have the courage to hold out for spring. Sometimes the dismal view outside our window sucks us into it and we feel gray and cold and somehow that translates to feeling alone and misunderstood.

 

This aloneness is merely another season to explore…we are not alone. Who better to explore it with than your constant companion and the lover of your soul?

 

“So the Lord alone led him, and there was no foreign god [no loneliness, no fear, no emptiness, no sorrow, no purposelessness, no poverty, no grief, no despair] with him.” ~ Deuteronomy 32:12 (NKJV)

 

“Indeed the hour [season] is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” ~ John 16:32 (NKJV)

 

Expounding in the brackets is mine.

Stopping to Ask Directions...

Still searching for direction; sometimes I still feel like I’m flopping around in life for my purpose in this empty nest stage. Silly, I know, considering my children have been out of the house for over a decade already. Yet there are days I weep for days gone by instead of reaching forward to the best that’s yet to come. If I were someone else, I can just imagine the honest heart-to-heart counsel I’d want to give…. There are times encouragement has to come slowly and tenderly. This is not one of those times. It’s been more than ten years since our last child flew the coop. There’s no more ‘slowly and tenderly’ approaching the subject.

So, what now God? If I’m left idle and to my own devices, that can only mean trouble. Depression lurks at my door. Apathy has seeped into the crevices I’d thought long sealed shut. This is not a good thing. But this is an opportunity for the community of love surrounding me to lend their godly counsel. Be blunt. Be assertive. I’m beyond being content to hear: You’ll be okay… Time heals all… Don’t worry; God’s got a plan – just be patient. Don’t be so hard on yourself….

Don’t get me wrong. The last ten years haven’t been a waste of breath, lives around me are constantly changing, there are always needs to be met. I don’t just want to ‘do something’ – I want to walk in God’s perfect plan for my life, fulfilling my destiny and glorifying Him at every turn.

Perhaps you’ve just indulged me in a momentary pity-party. Forgive me. All of the focus and purpose and listening I’ve been writing about lately has been for my own sake.

Easier said than done; I admit it. To quote Frazier, "I’m listening."

Proverbs 27:9 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. (KJV)