Mourn - Grieve - and Let Go

 

(picsart .com)

We can all mourn the past we didn't have. 

 

Wishing our lives had been different won't change a thing. Go ahead and grieve for it. You won’t move forward without letting go.

 

To the one whose childhood was too difficult to navigate...

To the child who's felt unloved everyday...

To the one who's never felt they fit in...

To the one who's been neglected and abused...

To the one who's confused and challenging why things have been so hard...

And to everyone else reading:

 

You are seen and you are loved. 

 

"But not the way I've wanted to be", your heart cries. 

 You've been ignored, or worse, scorned. 

 

You've been criticized or cursed. 

 

You've felt completely alone, even when everyone around you seemed to be laughing. 

 

You've been lost and scared, not knowing where to turn or who to run to. 

 

You've knocked on doors that wouldn't open. 

 

You've cried prayers of fear and desperation. 

 

You've seen and felt the emptiness of your heart. 

 

And all you've wanted is to be seen and heard and loved. 

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Don't believe the lie that you are at fault or that you are unlovable. 

 

Don't believe the lie that no one truly cares about you. 

 

Don't believe the lie that you're the only one who's faced these thoughts and feelings. 

 

Don't believe the lie that no one will ever accept you as you are. 

 

 

The very One Who created you has been there every step of the way. 

 

He's been watching you and crying with you and reaching out to you.

 

He's been listening when your heart was breaking, and He heard the sound of every piece crack and fall away. 

 

He's seen every tear fall - and He's caught them all. 

 

He's felt your heartbeat race through all your fear and anxiety. 

 

He's called your name in whispers and shouts throughout every day you've drawn breath. 

 

He's tucked blessings in along the way. Sometimes hidden away for you, sometimes in glaringly obvious places. 

 

He's painted sunsets for your eyes only. 

 

He's showered down rain and sat with you in the puddles. 

 

He's guided you and even led you by the hand for as long as you'd hold on. 

 

He's dropped sunbeams to shimmer on your hair. 

 

He's brought sweet fragrances to tantalize your senses. 

 

He's sung love songs into your ears and wrapped them around your heart. 

 

He's breathed life into your lungs, even when you didn't want to go in living. 

 

He knew you before you were conceived. 

 

He waited with you on endless nights of loneliness and sorrow. 

 

He's pulled back the veil when you wrestled with confusion. 

 

He's held you while you slept, cradling you in His arms, tucking you closely into His heart. 

 

He was the parent your natural parents couldn't be. 

 

 

You can mourn the past you didn't have. 

 

You should. 

 

 

Then release the past to the past and look for the blessings of today. 

 

They're there. 

 

Everywhere. 

 

You'll miss most of them, even when you're intentionally looking. 

 

They're there. 

 

You'll catch a glimpse of one now and then. 

 

As you watch for them, you'll see more of them. 

 

You'll begin to appreciate them and even rejoice in them. 

 

And blessing by blessing you'll let go of yesterday and make something new out of today. 

 

As you listen for His voice, you'll begin to hear His love songs. 

 

As you begin to recognize the presence of the One Who loves you best you'll begin to celebrate moments you use to miss. 

 

Second by second, minute by minute you'll see your life for what it's meant to be, not just as the sum of the hurts that brought you into today. 

 

 

You are more. 

You are loved. You've always been loved. 

You are not alone. You were never really alone. 

You're alive, truly alive. 

 

Your next breath ushers in purpose and meaning that's been there all along. 

 

The only One Who can save us is the One Who loved us enough to create us and give us the chance to fulfill our destiny. 

 

All our mistakes and failures are back there, too - in the past. 

 

 

Today is new. 

 

Today we can choose to listen for His voice.

 

Today we can open our hearts up to His tangible presence. 

 

Today we can sing with Him as He rejoices over us. 

 

And tomorrow, there’s even more.

Choosing to Cling

(photo from greinermanmemorials.com)

 During a wedding the other day, my mind wandered a bit; my eyes were drawn to a statue of Mary. Unlike any statue of her I’ve seen, I can’t even find a photo of this statue on line, the one pictured is not it. Her face was sculpted to capture love and compassion, yet it was filled with wonder and questions. She held a crown of thorns in her hands, clutched to her heart.

My mind wandered further to imagine her, collapsed to the ground, holding the crucified, dead body of her Son, having gently removed the crown of thorns from His bloody head, setting it aside to wiped blood and tears from His precious face. No doubt her breaking heart wept, even if she didn’t have the physical strength left to sob over his ravaged body.

It didn’t help that I was already emotional, simply because I was at a wedding, but, I fought back my tears. If it was my son, I believe I’d be holding him to myself for as long as I could.

Even as we stand beside a loved one, laid out at their funeral, longing to hold them in our arms one more time, our heart breaks in a way we could never have imagined before. We may cling to memories, or even to a token of their lives.

What did Mary cling to? Did she clutch that crown of thorns? Did she grapple in the sand for the bloody nails that held Him to the Cross? Did she reach deeply into her understanding of what God had spoken to her through an angel and displayed before her throughout the years? Did she pull out God’s strength through a joy miraculously placed in her heart? She recognized her own salvation at the announcement of her pregnancy (Luke 1:47); did she have an even greater revelation at the finality of His death when He uttered, “It is finished”? (John 19:30) By His grace and mercy, did God allow her a glimpse of eternity, removing the veil of time so she could see her son sitting at the right hand of her Father? (Acts 2:33)

(photo from greinermanmemorials.com)

We don’t know. Imagine what we will, we don’t know.

What do you cling to and clutch to your heart that connects you with your Savior? Or what is it you run from? (I suppose Mary could have thrown that crown of thorns in anger and run from the bloody scene that had just unfolded before her.)

Perhaps, it’s not something tangible, but a memory. Maybe the memory is so vague you can’t even put your finger on it. Or maybe this is an easy question, the memory or point of contact is illuminated in your mind as you read this.

Whatever it is, it’s something that penetrated your heart; whether the pierce was a prick like that from a thorn, or broke your heart wide open; you let Jesus peek into the places there where no one else is welcome - your secret place. Could it make a difference if you shared your treasure with someone else; if you told them how Jesus brought His Light to your darkness?

If you’ve never asked Jesus into that private place, perhaps it just feels like your heart has been beaten up, broken, cracked and stomped on; crushed till it’s unrecognizable, dark and lifeless. That’s how it will remain until you allow the Light of Jesus Christ to redeem you; to bring life from lifelessness.

The whole point to the Christmas story is that Jesus took on flesh to be like us, so that we could find life in His Spirit and be like Him.

Find a quiet place and think on this. Ask Him to show you your heart, if it’s filled with His Light – share it! If it’s still filled with pain and sorrow and anger and grief, it’s time to invite Him in to help you find the courage to forgive those who’ve hurt and betrayed you, and the courage to accept His forgiveness for your sin (“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” -Romans 3:23-24/If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -1 John 1:9 NIV)

Yes, it will mean allowing yourself to become vulnerable. But, He’s not going to blab your secrets to the world. It’s all between you and Him…… if you’re not quite sure how to pray, ask Him. He’ll meet you right where you’re at.

His Word (the Bible) is filled with promises for those who believe Him. Find your promises today.

(photo from powerofamoment.com)

Loneliness

(Picture from layoutsparks.com)

Sometimes the most profoundly lonely moments follow time spent with someone you care about.

Perhaps their sudden absence makes you realize the importance of their presence.

Perhaps it’s the recognition that the world is phenomenally bigger when they’re not around.

Perhaps it’s because you realize the world keeps turning whether you’re with them or not, and you’re not sure that’s a good thing.

All at once, the sound of their voice is missing as silence surrounds you.

At that same instance, the beauty of their face is only in your mind.

Within moments, their touch is a million miles away.

Right about now, the word ‘alone’ takes on new meaning; and the only purpose your tears serve is to create a wealth of snot in your nose and there’s not a tissue to be found.

Allowing your mind to insist they return to you only prolongs the aching feeling in your chest.

Explore what else occupies your heart; there in the shadows, being crushed by the emptiness you’re allowing to overwhelm and smother you. What’s there? Look closer.

Ah yes, a smile returns to your face now. Absence may increase longing, but can’t overpower love.

Now, your heart can return to its normal size, and grow even larger. There’s room for absence. The heart has the capacity to hold so much and never be filled; there’s always room for more. It stretches, you know.

Absence can’t shut you out if you invite it in; welcome it; allow it to teach you all about being present.

Loneliness fades.

Joy wakes up.

Exploring our heart becomes an adventure that pushes fear out completely; or changes the look on its face till it’s no longer a frightening thing.

Dare to look at the very things you’ve been hiding from for so long. No, you don’t have to do it all at once. Baby steps will still accomplish the journey.

“For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.” -  1 John 3:20  (KJV)

First...

(picture from lovethispic.com)

Do you ever just want someone to reach out to you with a kind offer to help, whether what we’re going through is a big deal or something petty that’s getting us down?

Does it ever seem like you’re the one always extending a helping hand, but that no one notices what you’re going through?

Is it possible that sometimes we just don’t see the loving hands reaching out to comfort us, or is there truly no one in our circle of friends that cares?

And, what do we commonly do when we find ourselves feeling like this?

Isn’t it easy to pout? Isn’t it easy to listen to the lies the enemy flaunts in our ears? Isn’t it easy to launch head-long into a self-thrown pity party, complete with tears and anger?

And doesn’t it sometimes seem like an insult when someone throws scripture our way, as if that’s going to help? We were wanting a physical hand, a hug from human arms, and someone flings a verse from the Bible our way and expects that to fix everything?

I’ve been there, too. If we’re going to bring God into the picture (albeit, He should never be out of the picture), why can’t He just send that someone we need to connect to right now? I recall times when I felt like no one in the world gave a thought to whether I lived or died, and needed a friend. Placing phone call after phone call, no one picked up. Could they all really be that busy they can’t chat for just a few minutes with me?

Personally, when I need to talk with someone and can’t get a hold of anyone, I jump to the conclusion quickly, that God wants me to talk to Him about it first. He knows the situation from every possible angle. If I’m being petty and someone has hurt my feelings, talking to anyone else first would become gossip, which, incidentally, God hates.

So, maybe it’s a coincidence that no one else is available, or maybe it’s a God-planned incident. Perhaps if we take our burdens to Him first He’ll put things into perspective for us, or after we’ve vented the ugly stuff to Him, He won’t mind if we talk to our earthly friends about it, too, and someone will suddenly have time for us.

Then Jesus said, Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

And one of my favorite scriptures: Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” ~Mark 6:31a (NLT)

Why is it really so hard to turn to Him – first?

Wintertime

As I look out my dining room window over the gray and brown city that sprawls out before my eyes, the stillness and silence captures my attention almost as quickly as the drab, muted colors. It looks lifeless out there. I find myself discontent, ungrateful and wanting springtime hues to splatter themselves on the picture before me, a picture to bland to even place within this blog post.

 

But what lies in wait out there? Seasons occur for a reason. Plants go dormant, temperatures drop, leaves disappear, clouds block out the warmth of the sunshine, all to create a season of preparation. Why can’t the whole world enjoy seasons the way Florida does? Their temperatures dip – but not to the point of freezing temperatures that chill us to the bone. Yet I’m glad the whole world doesn’t have to watch the seasons pass like those closer to the North Pole.

 

Diversity. God must really dig it.

 

I’ve learned that diversity is not without reason and purpose. Just as you and I are different, intentionally, God enjoys it all. He created us for His good pleasure. He gave us this world to live in and take care of, as it takes care of us. He’s provided everything we need and placed us in the middle of it. There’s so much to learn, if we’ll just pay attention to the illustrations He surrounds us with.

 

I wonder how many of us die in the wintertime, simply because we don’t have the courage to hold out for spring. Sometimes the dismal view outside our window sucks us into it and we feel gray and cold and somehow that translates to feeling alone and misunderstood.

 

This aloneness is merely another season to explore…we are not alone. Who better to explore it with than your constant companion and the lover of your soul?

 

“So the Lord alone led him, and there was no foreign god [no loneliness, no fear, no emptiness, no sorrow, no purposelessness, no poverty, no grief, no despair] with him.” ~ Deuteronomy 32:12 (NKJV)

 

“Indeed the hour [season] is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” ~ John 16:32 (NKJV)

 

Expounding in the brackets is mine.

Void

Void. Each of us walks around with a void in our lives. We’re in constant search for something to fill that vacuum. Some of us look to people, some to substance – and wind up abusing either out of the frustration that results from the void burning a hole through our hearts like a magnified ray of sun burning it’s way through a thin piece of paper.

 

It may sound cliché to say that this hole in our being is a god-shaped void. What we fill it with becomes our god; what we put before everything else, until it fails to satisfy us. Then we go off in search of another god.

 

More specifically, this emptiness is a God-shaped void that only He can fill completely and perfect and forever. Everything and everyone else will fail us.

 

Children love unconditionally! If only I had a child, that would fill my void!

 

A spouse, a mate, a life partner – surely that will erase my loneliness!

 

Success, which will absolutely keep me so busy I won’t have time to notice this emptiness!

 

Money! If I have money to spend on whatever I want, that will satisfy me!

 

The hunger within us grows.

 

The children, the partner, the success and the money leave me lacking still.

 

Alcohol! The preferred method of many to numb the sting of heartache, sorrow, lack of direction or the overwhelming pressure we’ve created to fill that void on our own. Or drugs, recreational or prescribed, it doesn’t matter, they will lull us to a place where nothing matters, not even our emptiness.

 

No, even the chemicals that dim our inhibitions can’t drown out the deafening sounds of the silence in our soul. No addiction found by man can drive away the darkness that strives to swallow us up, daily.

 

Why, oh why must we turn every direction we see, searching out fulfillment, running after it – until we’re exhausted? We need only to look up, our redemption draws near…

 

Why, oh why do we search in vain, hurting ourselves and others in the process? God is there, as close as the mention of His Name.

 

When we turn to God and admit our brokenness, bowing before Him in need of mercy and grace, does that fix everything that’s wrong in our lives?

 

No. We’re still left with struggles, circumstances that we’d rather not face. We still search the path to heavenly eternity.

 

But now, we have the light to see the path before us. The light of God, shining from within us, which can only be extinguished if we choose to turn against it.

 

Now, we have peace in our soul, our only hunger is for more of Him. Now we are assured of eternal rest and joy for the journey.

 

Now, and only now, the God-shaped void is filled and we have peace.

 

 

Deuteronomy 4:29 “But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.”  (KJV)

 

Psalm 105:4 “Seek the Lord, and his strength: seek his face evermore.” (KJV)

 

Isaiah 55:6 “Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near”

 

Acts 17:27 “That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us”

 

 

 

 

Look At Their Faces

Everywhere I look I see beautiful faces I want to reach out and caress, and bald heads I want to kiss! I see tears I want to wipe; frustrations and fears I want to extract – as if using a Vulcan mind meld, but with one hand on another’s face or shoulder or hand.

How much more do we restrain Christ from reaching into our hearts and healing us and delivering us of all that holds us back and drains our joy? If simple cultural protocol compels me to keep my hands to myself, how much less do we allow God to touch us; to reveal Himself to us? We morph our own culture, so is this self-sabotage? Yet, these beautiful faces, often wearing tears or artificial smiles, call to me; the very heart behind the face calls out to love and be loved.

I really don’t think the people that surround me daily have a clue how beautiful they are. Sometimes I just break the rules and tell them. So far I’ve never had anyone recoil and look at me like I’m a freak. The usual response is a smile, though sometimes hesitant, and a thank-you. Occasionally I’ll walk up to a man and tell him he has the prettiest woman in the place with him. He’ll usually look at her and smile and say something like, “Yes, I do,” which then makes her smile.

It’s so easy to get smiles going….. Pass a few along today, they really are contagious, as well as healing.

God bless you and keep you, God smile on you and gift you, God look you full in the face and make you prosper. Numbers 6:24-26 (The Message Bible)

Who Would Notice?

‘If I fell off the face of the earth – no one would even notice…’

Have you ever thought that? I’ve seen similar statements as status updates on Facebook and it saddens me to see that our common enemy, Satan, has managed to diminish our value in our own eyes.

Is it because we’ve fallen short of some standard that was set for us?

Is it because we measure ourselves by the successes of others?

Is it because we simply don’t like what we see in the mirror?

I would love to convince you of your worth – but convincing anyone of anything means coming up against what they already believe, and against the experiences that brought them to the point of believing what they believe.

What gives something its value? What determines its worth?

To a millionaire a fifty dollar gift card might be an insult. To someone in a third world country, fifty dollars could mean the difference between life and death.

To a professional violinist, a half a million dollar violin is a thing of beauty and coveted. To a child with no ear for music, it’s merely a decoration.

Relative value is largely determined by who’s holding the object in question.

Absolute value is predetermined.

The fifty dollar gift card is worth just that, fifty dollars. The half a million dollar violin is worth a half a million dollars.

When we’re mistreated by the world at large or the people we are closest to, we often feel worthless, even if we’re pretty enough to be a decoration. But our absolute value was established before we were conceived, even before the earth was formed.

So our relative value can only be affected by allowing our lives to be controlled by people who don’t care about us. By yielding control to God – we retain our unfathomable, absolute value, which can never change.

More to come…………….